Hello My Old Heart
by wooster182
Summary: Meredith has found someone that lights her up. And she's fighting the hell out of it. She keeps saying she wants to learn from past mistakes, but she's really running away from her feelings and Andrew DeLuca needs to know why. For now, this fic is going to be a companion piece to the episodes. So the first chapter coincides with the end of 15x06, "Flowers Grow Out of My Hair."
1. Chapter 1

So it's been a really long time since I've written. But I've absolutely fallen in love with Merluca and I have seen a public cry for fanfic so here I am! Hope I'm able to help feed the need. :)

For now, this fic is going to be a companion piece to the episodes. So this chapter coincides with the end of 15x06, "Flowers Grow Out of My Hair." Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

"Hey," he said softly, as he always did. With a smile, as he always had. At least for her. "I thought you'd have left by now."

She had been staring at the elevator door as she waited for it to get to her floor. Instinctively when she heard his voice, her head whipped up to meet him and she tugged onto the shoulder strap of her purse. With a small smile, she said, "I've been trying to leave for the last half hour. CeCe needed to hear all about my date."

His chuckle sounded like a low rumble. It caused Meredith's breath to catch in her chest. She hoped he hadn't noticed.

"She must have been disappointed when you told her you scared him off." He turned to face the elevator too as he said it, but she thought she saw him trying to hide a smirk.

"CeCe thinks I'm not opening myself to love," she said as she made a sweeping motion with her hands as if quoting her matchmaker.

He smiled wider as he shook his head. "I respect CeCe a lot but I think she's wrong. In the time I've known you, I've seen you be a wonderful mom. A great sister. Amazing doctor. Being strong doesn't mean you're closed." He turned to look at her. "It might take longer to get to know you, but you're definitely worth the effort."

His voice had dropped to almost a whisper but she felt so exposed, he might as well have been screaming. She felt a flame rip through her from her toes to the tips of her ears and she wished they weren't in the middle of the hallway. Before she could respond, thankfully she heard the ding of the elevator and rushed in.

He followed her. "I'm sorry, Dr. Grey. Did I embarrass you?"

Shaking her head, her soft blonde hair curved around her shoulders and the marigold tucked behind her ear. "No, DeLuca. You overwhelm me."

"Meredith." His dark eyes clouded and he moved incrementally closer. "I have wanted to smell that flower in your hair all night." He leaned in until she was backed against the elevator wall. He put his right hand on the wall behind her and came so close that his lips could have touched her temple if she had turned into him.

He inhaled deeply and muttered something intelligible in Italian. She was sure all of the oxygen left the room. "Andrew, this is inappropriate."

He didn't move. "I don't think you actually believe that." He slipped the marigold from her ear and brushed it against her cheek. "I think you want to tell me where to kiss you."

She smiled at his brazenness and decided to call his bluff. Her fingers slid across his hand as she stole the marigold and put it behind his ear. The orange flower looked almost neon in his black curls. She cursed herself for playing into his game because she couldn't remember a time she had felt this attracted to someone after Derek. She looked him straight in the eye, hoping he would think she was nonchalant. With a laugh, she said, "The flower looks better on you."

"That's not possible." He grabbed the lapels of her coat and slipped it off until it fell to the floor. He kept his hands on her forearms and then slowly slid them upwards.

Her black button-down felt as thin as crepe paper beneath his massaging fingers. She felt naked. Exposed. "Deluca, this is crazy."

His eyes followed his hand as he hooked his finger in the top of her blouse, tugging the first button towards him. In Italian he whispered, "Tell me where to kiss you."

For a moment, Meredith's brain went blank and before she had time to talk herself out of it, she said, "Everywhere."

Using the hand that was still attached to her shirt and placing his free hand on the curve of her waist, he pinned her against the wall, his hips completely melted to her own. His lips came down heavy on hers and he nipped and sucked and teased her until she was breathless.

She ran her fingers through his hair, his curls naturally wrapping around her fingers. She took hold and tugged playfully.

He groaned in surprised, pulling his head up to look at her again. His wild eyes matched her own hunger and she bucked against him when he started to unbutton her shirt. She watched him bend over to kiss her clavicle, then the skin just above the front clasp of her bra. She dug her nails into his shoulders and then lightly dusted his neck with the pads of her fingertips, hoping he'd feel the same amount of pleasure and pain he was coaxing from her.

He kept hold of her gaze as he got on his knees. Grabbing either side of her hips, he pulled her towards him as he grazed her stomach with his teeth. She cried out from surprise and desire and hoped no one could hear her through the elevator doors. But also kind of hoped they could.

The danger was half of the turn-on. Andrew DeLuca was a lot of things. And dangerous was one of them. She felt like they were running towards a cliff. And as he unbuttoned her pants and tugged them down her thighs, she didn't have any inclination to care about that damn cliff. Right now, it sounded like a hell of a fun way to go.

She took his free hand and entwined it with hers. Her back arched as his tongue traced a line from her navel to the small black bow of her panties. She squeezed his hand and asked, "DeLuca, what are we doing?"

"You tell me, Grey." He pinched the black silk of her lingerie, then pulled it back and let go. The elastic snapped against her stomach. He smiled devilishly. "This is your fantasy, not mine."

She snapped awake, blinking fiercely as she tried to figure out where she was. Her bathroom. Glass of wine. Soft music and candles. Maggie had taken the kids to run off their Halloween candy sugar rush in the park. She had taken the opportunity of the precious moments alone to soak in the bath.

She must have fallen asleep and the romantic setting of the bubbles, candles and wine had drifted her into a hot dream.

But if she was being honest with herself, she had been having a lot of these dreams lately. The dreams had started off generic. DeLuca. Link. Jackson. Hell, she had even had a showstopper about the mailman a few months back.

That's when she knew CeCe was right and it was time to start dating again. But that had been a complete bust so far. And CeCe, like in her dream, had told her that she wasn't being open or available.

But those two traits were not something that came easy to Ellis Grey's daughter. She was trying her best to meet and like the men CeCe had found for her, but none of them were right.

In fact, it was getting worse. Just a few nights before, she had completely ranted to this complete stranger about having a dying, deadbeat dad. How's that for open!

None of these guys were working out, but she was still having sexy dreams. She was beginning to think that her psyche was taunting her. In fact, the more men she met, the fewer guys she dreamt about.

More and more, she was only dreaming about one man.

Thank God, she wasn't dreaming about Jackson any more. She couldn't look Maggie in the eye for a week after that dream. But the fantasies she was having now weren't that much less complicated.

No, her dreams were very complicated. And ridiculous. He was a subordinate. Her sister's ex boyfriend. Practically a kid.

And even if those things weren't true, there was no way he was interested in her. Sure he had kissed her. But he had been out of his mind with heartbreak and free wedding booze. And had apologized immediately the next day, even telling her that it didn't mean anything and he'd never do it again.

So, really, fantasizing about DeLuca was probably for the best. At least she knew it wouldn't lead to anything. He didn't want her. And she was just involuntarily dreaming.

Except.

Except she had noticed he stared at her a little too long before Flora's surgery. And that she had caught him watching her when he thought she wasn't aware.

Except she had caught herself watching him when she thought he wasn't aware.

Except she had been listening to her Italian music playlist a lot lately, to brush up on that 3 years of a college elective.

Except she had caught herself staring at his hands at random times. They were masculine yet gentle. That kind of described everything about him really: masculine but gentle.

Except she had wondered what he would do if she had really put that marigold behind his ear.

_You're being ridiculous, Grey_, she scolded herself. Nothing was ever going to happen. She was his superior. He had dated her sister.

If she was being really honest with herself, those weren't really the reasons why she panicked every time she dreamed about him.

But this is dark and twisty Meredith Fucking Grey. She was perfectly content to not be really honest with herself.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so this is chapter 2! Thanks to everyone who read and / or reviewed the first chapter. I hope you keep enjoying!

This chapter is still in between the episodes "Flowers Grow Out of My Grave" and "Blowin' in the Wind."

Chapter 2

Andrew slid off his motorcycle. The entire ride home from the hospital, he had fantasized that Meredith was riding behind him. She would have held him tight, cupping his hips with her thighs. Her laughter rumbling in his ear would be intoxicating.

He loved her laugh. It was genuine and warm, like a child's giggle. But Meredith Grey definitely wasn't a girl. She was a woman. All woman. He had never met someone so intelligent and strong and beautiful. He also couldn't believe that it had taken him so long to notice.

He had worked alongside her for three years. He had slept on her couch for a week. But all he had seen in the past was his superior, his teacher. He hadn't seen the woman.

But now he had tasted her. He had been drunk. He had apologized. He had thought it was a non-issue. But then one day in a patient's room, she had laughed. It had tore through his body and froze him where he stood. In that instant, he relived the kiss like an acid trip.

He had hoped that it was a momentary attraction. But as days progressed to weeks, he caught himself watching her. He could feel her presence in a room, even if he couldn't see her. It had surprised him how quickly she began to consume his thoughts.

It didn't surprise him, though, that the deeper his admiration, the more focused his life had become. He was developing into a leader at work. He had finally found his own apartment, without a roommate and Formica furniture. She was an amazing woman and doctor and she inspired him to push himself.

As he walked through the front door of his new apartment, he set his keys down on the table in the foyer. It still felt strange coming home to an empty, quiet set of rooms. He had always lived with someone his entire life. He had grown up in a loud, Italian home. He missed being part of a big, loud family. He wondered if that was part of his attraction to Meredith. When he had stayed at her home, it was vibrant, chaotic, loving. It reminded him of the good summers he had shared with his father and Carina in Italy.

Carina. She was the stereotypically annoying big sister but she knew him better than anyone. And she had so far been the only one to notice his feelings to Meredith. He knew it wasn't going to be long, though, until it was noticeable to everyone.

When they had been in the scrub room alone together, prepping for Flora's surgery, Meredith's presence in the small room had been overwhelming.

Then she went into the OR to soothe the nervous little girl.

"_Hey, sweet pea. How are you doing? See your guy out there?"_

And then she looked at him, in a way that she had never looked at him in three years. It was warm, almost loving. And possessive. In that instant, he knew unequivocally what we wanted. He wanted to hear Meredith call him _her_ guy.

The thought of her going on a date with another man that night had driven him nearly mad. He was flooded with relief when he saw her afterwards back in the hospital, even moreso when she had told him the date had been a disaster.

But it was the marigold in her hair that threw him over the edge. Had Linc not been there, he would have swept her into that elevator, backed her to the wall, and inhaled the scent of that flower and her hair. He wanted to take her into his arms and show her what a sober kiss from Andrew DeLuca felt like. He wanted to experience all of her.

But what he wanted and what he needed were right now two different things. What he needed was a cold shower and a hot meal.

If he were being really honest with himself, though, he knew as soon as he got into the shower, the flashbacks would start again. That blue dress. Those big blue eyes. Soft hair. That she smelled like daisies.

This was Andrew DeLuca. He would be honest with himself, even though it killed him. And it killed him every time he dreamed of touching her when he knew couldn't.

Bracing his hand against the shower wall, he let the hot water pour through his wild curls and down his wide neck and strong shoulders. When he closed his eyes, listening to the rhythm of the water, he saw her eyes again. He recalled every little interaction that they had in the last three months. Carina would tell him he was being stupid or crazy, or both, but a nagging voice kept whispering to him that Meredith just might not think he was stupid or crazy.

When he had kissed her before, she had told him that she was flattered. Everything in his body hoped that someday, if he ever told her how he felt, she would be more than flattered.

He wasn't ready to be that brave yet. Right now, he was content just being in her orbit, witness to how amazing she was.

He stared at the shower wall. He knew that wouldn't be enough forever.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

You guys have been SO supportive. And this has been so much fun to write. Thank you so very much!

This chapter coincides with 15x08 "Blowin' in the Wind." Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

CeCe really knew how to punch him in the gut. First, she had raved on and on…and on about how wonderful Dr. Lincoln was and how Meredith would be a fool not to date him. She was so convincing, _he _wanted to date Link.

What really killed him, though, was that she was right. For any woman in Meredith Grey's position, how could Andrew DeLuca compete with Atticus Lincoln?

Link was not only farther along in his career, he was an "Ortho God." Andrew was just a senior resident who hadn't even chosen a specialty yet.

Link looked like a walking Ken doll.

He was Jo's person. Jo—the woman married to Meredith's person. They would be two beautiful couples doing beautiful, coupley things together while DeLuca sat in his quiet apartment alone.

She had called Link "perfection" for God's sake. How do you counter perfection? What could DeLuca possibly give a woman like Meredith Grey?

Then the second gut punch of the day happened. CeCe had asked him why he was making a face and he was overly honest with her about her chances of survival. Too honest. He expected Meredith would have to reprimand him for it.

But her response was what had shaken him.

_If you don't fight, if you don't try, if you don't do your part and squeeze all the light and love and joy out of this one life you've been given…_

CeCe had knocked the wind out of him. She might as well have called him a coward. He couldn't help but look at Meredith when she said it. Because when he heard, light and love and joy, he thought of her. And he hadn't done anything about it.

The last gut punch happened directly after. He had left CeCe's room with directions from Grey. He had walked away from her, but CeCe's words had made him stop and he turned around to call out to Meredith. But as he stood by the nurse's station, he saw Meredith already talking to Link. She had apparently been affected by CeCe's words too. She was asking him out on a date. He watched Link walk away, surprised and happy. DeLuca, though, no longer felt jealous. It was more than that. It felt like pain and defeat.

He was pacing back and forth in a locked On Call room, CeCe's words swirling around his thoughts like the windstorm outside. _If you don't fight, if you don't try…_

He had thought he had been in love before. He had been grieving Sam when he kissed Meredith. That kiss was like a bright light in a dark room. It had instantly knocked him out of his grief. In the next four months, that kiss was all he could think of and as he took the time to really get to know her, he realized that he hadn't truly understood his capacity to love someone else.

He stopped pacing. He loved her. It was the first time he had admitted it to himself. She was amazing, way beyond him. But he needed to fight, to try. She lit him up and if he didn't at least try, he knew he would be potentially losing the brightest light in his life.

Carina was right. He was about to make a great, big fool of himself in front of his lady boss.

He unlocked the door and ran out of the room. He needed to find Meredith.

... 

It had been a week. There was a storm raging outside. Katherine had blindsided her with her cancer diagnosis. And CeCe was finally getting her transplants.

She had liked patients before, but CeCe was different. She had grown as attached to her as CeCe had to Meredith. The woman was so full of life and love and passion. She reminded her that she still had time and capacity to find companionship.

Meredith really had no intention or expectation of finding love again. But it would be nice to feel affection again. It was CeCe's words that reminded her of that.

_If you don't fight, if you don't try, if you don't do your part and squeeze all the light and love and joy out of this one life you've been given, I'm going to haunt you from beyond the grave._

This woman was about to have a potentially traumatic surgery. But she was ready to fight. She wanted to live. It made Meredith want to live again too, which is why she asked out Link.

As she stared at CeCe's scans in the X Ray room, she wondered if she had made the right decision. He was handsome. Successful. But he was so damn cheerful. They really didn't seem to have anything in common. Maybe CeCe was right, though. Maybe commonality didn't matter. He could be fun. And she was ready to have a little fun in her life again.

She was deep in all of these thoughts when DeLuca charged through the door, apologizing about how he had talked to CeCe. She had told him that he had impressed her, which was true. He had really stepped up in the last year and was starting to prove what kind of doctor he would be.

He was brave and kind and warm. She selfishly hoped he would choose to go into general surgery because those traits made him great with patients. On the days that he was on her service, she was relieved. He was strong support. His presence was comforting. It surprised her to admit that. She barely knew him a year ago and now she found herself looking for his face in a crowded room, waiting for his smile.

So she told him. He was brave and she was impressed. And then it all came out.

_You amaze me, Dr. Grey. And while I'm feeling brave, I'm not sorry I kissed you at the wedding, because it's all I've been able to think about ever since. And I know you have options, but I want you to know that I'm one of them._

He had overwhelmed her. Those deep, brown eyes bore a hole into her and she felt like she was melting to the floor. All of these feelings poured out of him like a flood and she stood there taking it all in, amazed to hear what he really thought of her.

The more he stared at her, the more she panicked. She gave him reasons why they shouldn't. As she did, his voice dropped to a soft rasp and he moved closer.

_DeLuca._

_Meredith._

_Andrew._

Her hands came up between them. She was afraid she might reach out and touch him, so she balled them into a fist and then clasped her chest. She found herself gasping for air. His cologne was warm and masculine, enticing. He approached her with a familiarity that surprised her. There was barely any space between them now.

_Look, I think there's something here, and we can keep going through all the excuses of why not but I think you feel it too._

He touched her arms and she wanted to fall against his chest. She wanted him to bury his face in the curve of her neck. He made her feel like a woman. In this room, inly inches apart from him, they weren't doctors. She wasn't a widow. He made her feel like a girl with butterflies again. She hadn't felt that way since…

She couldn't keep looking into his eyes. This room was dark and quiet and it was just the two of them. She needed to get the hell out of there before she let him kiss her.

Because as soon as he did, she knew everything would change.

She was ready for fun-allowing everything to change was a daunting task.

So she told him she had to think about it and she walked out. Meredith took a deep breath for the first time and leaned against the door in the hallway. She could still envision him in the room behind her. It felt like a rope was tied between them, pulling her back in.

CeCe. She had a job to do. She needed to focus on CeCe. Closing her eyes, she gathered herself and propelled herself away from the door. The world came crashing back. The girl was gone again. Dr. Meredith Grey had to get ready for a surgery.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

OK, so this chapter is directly after "Shelter From the Storm." Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

"I will see _you_ later."

"You'll see—

"Who later?"

Andrew watched her walk away. It felt like a storm was growing inside him as strong as the one that had been outside.

Meredith knew now that he wanted her. After being stuck in that elevator, she knew _how much_ he wanted her. He had already realized he loved her. The more time he spent with her, he was just starting to realize how deep those feelings went.

_Just go back to speaking Italian. I liked it better. _

_When you finally let me kiss you, and you will let me kiss you, I won't ever stop._

When he started, he had just intended to be seductive. But speaking to her in Italian gave him the opportunity to tell her how he really felt and as he did, it spilled out. As soon as he said it, he knew he meant it. If she ever let him in, he knew this was it for him.

He would never stop. When she looked at him, he saw forever in her eyes. He had heard a line in a movie once: When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. He never really believed it until he had kissed Meredith Grey.

But right now, he was so frustrated, he couldn't see straight. She had blown his mind when she revealed she spoke fluent Italian. She had known everything he had said. And she wasn't flinching. Just when he thought he knew how amazing she was, she showed him something new. They had finally almost kissed, when the elevator started working again.

She had been so skittish about "repeating mistakes" but he felt like he was finally breaking through. She had asked him when he got so cocky. He told her the truth. When he realized she liked what was going on between them as much as he did. She balked at his answer, but he knew he was right. She liked him. She liked the way he looked at her. The way he treated her. The way he spoke Italian. The way he held her. He could feel it when she was next to him. They practically sparked.

What he couldn't figure out was why she kept fighting it. It felt like she kept comparing what was between them to what she had with her husband. What he couldn't figure out—and what she wouldn't tell him—was why it made her run.

But he stood his ground in the hallway and told her they needed to go out. Tonight. And she wasn't running. Actually, she was looking at him with moony eyes when Dr. Lincoln interrupted.

It was like the entire universe was out to get him. As he watched her walk away, though, he knew she was worth waiting for.

...

"I will see _you_ later."

"You'll see—

"Who later?"

She was still smiling by the time she made it to her car. When she gave her final goodbyes to CeCe, she told her that she was having fun. It was the truth. She couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun.

She had closed down shop four years ago. There had been a few fire sales here and there over the years but nothing like this. It felt like disco had been resurrected because now it was raining men.

Dr. Atticus Lincoln was like a big, blonde Greek god. She didn't quite see why Jo loved him so much. He had that Frat boy charm. And he did cut off all his hair for a kid with cancer. But there didn't seem to be a lot of _there _there. Which, also, was a lot of his appeal.

Link felt like no strings. He was a walking ball of sunshine. While she found him attractive, she was fairly certain she could have a fling without getting attached.

She turned the key in the ignition and made her way out of the parking lot. CeCe said she would haunt her. Life always needed balance and with one fun fling came one very serious Italian.

She tingled as she remembered the look in his eyes when he realized she spoke Italian. _Wow_. He looked in complete awe of her. It was intoxicating. She couldn't help herself from sliding her hand over his strong neck. She liked the way her hand fit the curve.

She could still feel _his _hand cupping her face, his hot breath close to her lips. The first time they had kissed had been a drunken mistake. This kiss was very intentional. They had been playing a game of back and forth the entire time in that elevator and the closer they got, the more overwhelmed she had become. By the time he leaned in to kiss her, she could barely breathe.

She had backed herself into that corner. DeLuca asked her a question she didn't want to answer. And thinking she could distract him, she asked him to speak Italian again.

_Remind me again why this is such a bad idea for us?_

_Because it's a bad idea._

_No I hear you. I'm just asking why._

_Because I'm an Attending and you're a Resident._

_And that happens all the time. It's happened for you, I think._

_Well…I'm trying to learn from my mistakes._

_I promise not to tell your kids that you called them that. _

_My marriage and my kids aren't a mistake._

_Then what are you learning exactly._

_I don't know. Just go back to speaking Italian. I liked it better. _

_When you finally let me kiss you, and you will let me kiss you, I won't ever stop._

He landed so close to her at his last sentence. His eyes raked over her as he said it and his jaw clenched possessively. She ached to touch him.

And then she did. Until the elevator came to life.

She ran out to find CeCe but she couldn't save her. Her death hit her hard. She would miss her. But CeCe had encouraged her to open herself up to new opportunities in a way she hadn't in four years. She encouraged her to embrace life and have fun.

And as she walked away from two gorgeous men who both wanted to date her, she couldn't help but smile. Yes, that was damn fun.

But she also knew that it wouldn't stay all flings and fun for very long. Link didn't seem to be taking the idea of them dating very seriously but DeLuca looked at her like he had already named her fourth child. She had seen how he was with his women in the past. He loved passionately, with all of himself. But he had also grown up so much in the six months since Sam had left. He had blossomed into this confident, controlled, sexy, passionate man. She wondered what being in love with a man like this would be.

A twinge singed her heart. She knew what being in love with a man like this was like. Was that why she hadn't wanted to answer his question?

She shook the idea from her mind. She didn't want to answer her own question either. Pulling up to the house, she was ready to see her kids. It had been a long day. As she opened the door, Zola was the only one to run up and greet her. The nanny was in the kitchen and let her know the rest of the children were already sleeping.

"Zozo, how was your day?" she asked with a big smile. She listened as her little girl detailed hat she learned in class, what boys she liked and which ones she didn't. As they settled down on the couch, Zola snuggled into the crook of her shoulder and Mer grabbed the remote.

"Zozo, have you ever watched Doctor Who?"

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

I am so excited about this chapter! I actually wrote it weeks ago, but I couldn't publish it until I wrote the first four. I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It sits between "Shelter in the Storm" and "Help I'm Alive". Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 5

"So when are you going to tell me what's going on?" Alex was sitting at Joe's, a beer in his hand. Meredith was next to him at the bar. They had sat just like this so many times before. These stools had become _their _stools. They had often joked that they'd buy the bar when they retired and ban every incoming batch of interns for their own humor.

"What are you talking about?" she said over a smile. It has been a good day and she was in a good mood.

He looked at her with the stony face he gave her when they were arguing or he was pumping her for information. "You're weird."

_Dammit, _she thought_. _He knew her too well_. _She gave him a poker face in return. "I'm not weird. You're weird."

He scoffed. "Mature."

"I'm not being weird," she said haughtily, her chin jutted out.

"I caught you staring at the elevator button for three minutes this morning."

Her jaw dropped as if to respond but words didn't come. She had really hoped no one noticed that. She had been having a vivid flashback of the dream that woke her up. _DeLuca. Her kitchen table. And counter. And floor. _She thought she was going to have to take another shower before she changed into her scrubs. "I've been distracted."

"Is it the kids?" His brow always furrowed heavy over his eyes when he was worried. 

She put her hand on his arm to reassure him. "No, the kids are great."

He shook his head, confused. "Then what is it?"

She paused, searching his eyes to judge his reaction. "Remember that patient I had last year? The transplant surgeon?"

He stared at his drink for a few moments as he thought back. "The flirty one?"

She squinted at him, a small smile hinting at her lips. "I don't remember telling you that. But, yes."

"What about him?" he asked, shrugging.

"I had told you that he had made me feel something that I hadn't felt since Derek." She was playing with the button on her sleeve. She was wearing her favorite white button down and black pants that gave her legs for days. She told herself that ever since she started dating again, she was really enjoying wearing sexier clothes and more makeup. It was fun and gave her a boost of confident. She also told herself that she wasn't wearing her favorite outfit because DeLuca might show up at Joe's.

"Is he back?" he asked, stirring Meredith from her thoughts.

"No."

"Did he call you?" his brow started to furrow again.

"No," she said, shaking her head.

He shrugged. "Then why are we talking about a hot transplant surgeon that never called you back?"

"Would you shut up so I can tell you why I'm being weird?" Her voice raised a few high and scratchy in that friendly, exasperated tone she reserved for Alex Karev.

"Told you you were being weird," he said, giving her side eye.

She paused, staring at him and smiled. Then, getting more serious, she said, "I never thought I'd feel that way again, so when Nick stirred up those feelings, that's why I started dating again."

He stuck out his bottom lip and nodded. "Sure, that's why most people date."

She made a face but kept going. "But I never actually thought I'd find someone who made me feel that way. I thought at best I'd get a few free meals, have a reason to buy some new heels, maybe have some decent sex."

"I thought all of the dates you've had sucked so far?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer.

She nodded, her blond hair swishing across her shoulders. "They have. They were all terrible."

His brow furrowed again. "So is that the problem? You don't want to keep dating? You don't have to put yourself through that if you aren't ready."

"The bad dates aren't the problem," she said dryly, then taking a sip of her drink.

"Then what is it?"

She cocked her head to the side and raised her hands in surprise. "I met someone."

His eyebrows shot up this time. "In all those bad dates?"

"No, it came out of nowhere," she said. Then a flashback of Alex's wedding made her throat constrict. "Well, not completely out of nowhere."

He eyed her with concern. "You like this guy?"

"I think I do." Another pause as she wiped pretend lint from her plant leg. "I do."

"But?"

She waved her hands in front of her like she was shaking imaginary shoulders. "But he has all of these feelings."

"Ugh." He rolled his eyes and finished his beer. He waved at Joe to bring him another one as he listed to Meredith.

She stared off as if she was envisioning DeLuca in front of her, his big dark eyes glittering a flirty hole into her. Shrugging, she said, "It's actually kind of beautiful. He knows what he wants and he goes full force towards it in such a passionate way."

"And that's a bad thing or a good thing?"

"A bad thing!"

"Why?"

Her heart to her chest, she looked at him with big eyes. "Because I'm what he wants. He's moving full force towards me."

He wrinkled his nose. "God, that sounds terrible."

She threw a peanut at him.

He squared his shoulders. "Look, if you don't want this guy around, I can tell him to back off."

Rolling her eyes, she said drolly, "Thank you for the big brother machismo, but that's not the problem."

"Then what is it?" He was starting to look exasperated. When Cristina had left, she had to train him on girl talk, but he had vastly improved over the years.

Her hands fell to her sides in defeat. "That I don't want him to back off. He's warm and kind and challenges me in a way most men don't."

He gave her the eyebrows again. "You're worried you could fall in love again."

Her eyes dropped to the table. She watched the ice in her drink clink the glass as she tilted it back and forth. "It's been four years since Derek died and I never thought I'd meet someone that would make me feel like this again."

"You feel like you're cheating on Derek?"

"No, I'm worried about me. What if I have all of these big, annoying feelings and I lose him? He moves to Switzerland. Or blows up in a ferry crash. Or randomly contracts Ebola. What do I do then? What do I tell my kids?"

"Have you introduced this guy to your kids?"

"No."

He let out a sigh. They were finally getting somewhere. He set his drink down and faced her directly, looking her right in the eyes to make sure she was listening. "Look, losing Izzie was one of the worst things I had to go through. I never thought I'd love like that again, even after I met Jo. And I lost Jo a thousand times before we finally made it. If I had given up after Iz, I wouldn't be this happy now. And something could go wrong. Something always goes wrong. But you encouraged me to have hope. And be happy."

She looked at him seriously for the first time that night. Her voice dropped as she said, "I'm not sure I can go through that much pain again."

He put his hand on hers on top of the bar. "Pain is inevitable, whether you are ever happy or not. So choose happiness _and_ pain rather than just pain."

She smiled. "I'm not sure I've ever heard advice so equally encouraging and depressing."

"Shut up. You're Meredith Freaking Grey. You can handle anything. Don't worry about what you're going to lose before you even have it. Just decide if you want it or not."

Her smile widened and she felt playful again. "Turns out you're bossy when you're smug and married."

He harrumphed. "So when do we meet this guy?"

She paused. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"Don't leave us all hanging for too long." He finished his second beer and pulled out his wallet to pay his tab. "If I have to hear any more about how amazing Link is, I might leave Jo and marry Link myself."

She giggled. Then she put her hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Alex."

"I just hope it works out the way you want it to, Mer." He smiled, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. "You deserve to be happy."

"I am happy." She waved her drink at him. "Go home and make your wife happy."

He gave her side eye again and turned to leave.

She watched him leave but it was who came in through the door past him that made her heart flutter. Andrew DeLuca. He was alone. She couldn't help but pour her eyes over him, head to toe. His ran his hand through his mess of black curls. He then scratched his cheek where a five o'clock shadow was growing. He was wearing a light brown leather jacket that showed off his strong neck and arms. He was wearing her favorite shirt of his – a navy blue tee that hugged his chest and showed off his dark eyes. His jeans hugged his thighs in an enticing way.

He walked in confident, but not cocky. He had a hint of a smile on his face. Looking around, he spotted her. His smile widened. His eyes crinkled at her.

Pretending his presence didn't affect her, she took a sip of her drink and looked down, her blond hair falling across her eyes. She had taken extra care with her hair that night. It was styled in an intentionally messy look. She knew she looked good. And she knew by the look on his face as he strode toward her that he thought so too.

"Hey there," he said. He had this uncanny way of sounding soft and masculine at the same time. She liked that about him. He made her feel safe and seduced at the same time.

"Hi" she said around a warm smile.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He leaned across the bar with one hand and was completely focused on her.

Her eyes sparkled at him and she gave him a teasing smile. "I already have a drink."

He didn't flinch. Leaning ever so closer to her, he said quietly in Italian, "Then buy me one."

Her breath caught in her throat. Brushing hair away from her face, she said, "I would but I'm headed home."

He reached out and played with a strand of her hair. "Why are you afraid of getting close to me?"

She did flinch. His bluntness and his ability to read her made her uneasy. "You know why," she bluffed.

DeLuca sat in the stool that Alex had occupied. Giving her a weary look, he said, "I know the reasons you keep giving me, but I'm still waiting for what you're not telling me."

Her mouth fell open, but words did not follow. So she squinted at him and finished her drink. "I'm not afraid of anything."

"Great." He looked right through her. Sliding his arm towards her down the bar, he was so close now that she could smell his spicy, warm cologne. "Then _stay_." His confidence faltered a little when he looked down and said softly, "Please."

"Andrew." His vulnerability tugged at her. Alex's words swirled in her head. The teasing stopped and she softened. She put her hand on his arm and she could feel him ripple at her touch. "I really do need to go home, but ask me again sometime."

"I'll ask again," he said, putting his hand over hers. "You're worth waiting for."

She thought she might melt all over the barstool. She also considered grabbing him by his blue shirt and reenacting the kitchen dream from that morning. Squeezing his hand, she kissed him on the cheek. "Goodnight, Andrew."

Holding her hand, he kept her close and whispered Italian in her ear. "Goodnight, amazing woman."

She stopped breathing for a second. She needed to get the hell out of this bar. Pulling away, she headed for the exit. She told herself not to look back, but she couldn't help it. Andrew was watching her leave, a possessive, exciting smile on his face.

She laughed as she headed to her car. CeCe definitely knew how to haunt a girl.

TBC.


	6. Chapter 6

You guys are amazing! I haven't really written in so long and you've made it a blast. Thank you SO much!

So, the first several chapters were mostly about their feelings because I was boxed into the episodes where no one knew what was going on and they were basically crushing on each other from a distance.

But hot damn, we're finally getting somewhere! I'm so glad you all loved the last chapter because it was my favorite to write. Hopefully I can keep it up. Again, thanks so much!

Chapter 6

"So what does Thor do when he hangs up his hammer?" she said around a laugh. She had laughed a lot in the last few hours.

Link snorted as he scooped chocolate ice cream over his third slice of Bailey's birthday cake. "Seattle has some cool art deco theaters. If I've got a few days, I drive down to Long Beach and surf."

"You? Surf?" she said sarcastically. "That is shocking!"

He gave her side eye around a spoonful of icing. "I thought you were being nice now," he mumbled.

She giggled. "This is what my nice looks like," she said, shrugging and taking a sip of her wine. She was so grateful he had been there to help her put together Bailey's birthday party. She was also surprised by how much he wasn't annoying her.

He laughed and nodded. "So what about you? What does a stressed out mother of three and department head do with her spare time?"

She laughed and stole a piece of cake from his plate. "Spare time? You mean those five whole minutes every day before the kids jump on my bed and Maggie and Amelia take all the hot water in the shower?"

In retaliation for the cake, he grabbed her wine glass and took a drink. She slapped his arm lightly. "Yeah, what do you do with those five minutes?" he asked.

She didn't even hesitate. "Taking baths and drinking wine." She saw the sparkle in his eyes and realized what she said might have sounded like an invitation. Quickly, she said, "That's a very rare occasion in this madhouse."

They were laughing when Meredith's phone buzzed again as a reminder she had a text. Her eyes flitted down. He ate another scoop of ice cream, saying, "Check your phone. You know you want to. It's okay."

"You have no idea," she said, sighing, relieved. Her smile faltered when she read the text.

_Just flew solo, on a high, want to help me celebrate?_

Taking another sip of her wine, she hesitated. She wanted to respond, but she didn't want to be rude to Link. She also wasn't sure _how _she wanted to respond. Link had saved her tonight. She was so happy watching Bailey have a blast. And as much as it surprised her, Link was a lot of fun. Part of the reason he was so much fun was because he came with no expectations. Thor with no strings. What more could a woman ask for?

Andrew DeLuca. The man had a face that could launch a thousand ships. But he was not stringless. He definitely had expectations. A night with him wouldn't just be fun. He had made it pretty clear that he wanted to build a life with her.

"Grey…Earth to Grey," Link said, waking her up from her reverie. "Where did you go just now?"

She blinked a few times and then smiled as she came back into focus. "Sorry…sorry. It's just an update from Schmidt." She paused, jutted out her jaw and said, "About a patient." She looked down at the table and furrowed her brow. Why did she lie?

He finished his glass of wine. "If the message is that serious, don't feel badly about answering it."

She nodded, pretending to be serious and concerned as she texted DeLuca back.

_I can't. It's my son's birthday. But that's great, Andrew! You earned it._

It didn't take long for him to respond. _I could come over. Help you with the kids._

She looked over at her kids. Mer had worked hard to make sure they were happy and well adjusted. Was she ready to get seriously involved with someone? Maybe. Could that someone be DeLuca? Five months ago, he never would have crossed her mind. Now, her thoughts drifted to him all the time. Did that mean yes? If it did, then she definitely wasn't ready to introduce him to her kids again. Link was just a friend right now. There was no harm having him around her kids. To them, he was just Thor. But with DeLuca, she needed to know if they could actually work before she gave her kids the chance to get attached to him. Ellis had never even had the chance to meet her father. She wanted to prevent her kids from loss as much as possible.

_No, you've had a big day. You should celebrate it with friends that are over three feet tall. Tell me all about the surgery the next time I see you!_

She set her phone down and smiled at Link. "Thanks again for helping me today. Bailey has had a great birthday."

"Hey, no worries, Dr. Grey," he said, pushing his hair back with one hand. "It's been a great day."

"It has." Her smile was warm and genuine.

"I'm glad I got the chance to get to know you a little better." His bright blue eyes looked at her inquisitively. There was a question in his expression.

Her voice got serious. "Me too."

"Do you think we can do this again sometime?"

"Sure," she said, a smile flirting at her lips. "Zola's birthday is in two months."

His head fell and he laughed. She laughed along. Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, "It's been a long day, though. I better go home so I can run this cake off first thing tomorrow."

She chuckled. "Okay." Getting up, she walked him to the door. "Tell Thor goodbye, kids. He has to go save a planet."

Children swarmed around him as he inched his way to the door. Link swooped up Bailey and swung him through the room. "Thank you for all the cake, little man! Thor is ready to save the world after all that sugar!"

Setting Bailey down, Link opened the door and turned to look at Meredith. He waved. She gave him a small wave and watched him walk out the door. As she closed it behind him, her phone buzzed in her hand. She looked down at the screen.

_Next time…_

She smiled at the open flirtation. Slipping the phone into her back pocket, she looked at her son and clapped her hands. "Who's ready to open presents?" She watched Bailey run to the gift table.

Serious could wait. Right now, she just wanted to be present with her children.

...

_Next time_, she texted back. He smiled. Carina would call him an absolute idiot to keep asking after being rejected so many times. But he felt like she hadn't rejected him. They had almost kissed. She had said she would go out with him. She just kept prolonging it.

"Read the signals, Andrea!" His sister would say.

But he had and he didn't think Mer was signaling rejection. She was a pulling back but not because she didn't want to try.

He was so pumped about the solo surgery. He wanted to share his happiness with someone he loved. Meredith told him to celebrate with friends. The only problem was that he didn't really have any.

As a kid, he had a ton of friends in Italy. Until his dad's malpractice trial. Then his mother moved him to America and he had to start all over. His mother had called it a fresh start but that's not what it felt like to him at all.

He could speak English but everyone in his school talked too fast for him to understand. Kids made fun of his accent, his loud mannerisms and hand gestures. They were brutal about his name: Andrea.

So he stayed to himself and watched nothing but American television and read American books. As soon as his English improved, he dropped his accent and changed his name to Andrew, to his family's dismay.

In middle school, he joined track and started lifting weights. His shoulders broadened and his arms grew strong. He could take care of himself. The bullying stopped then but he still stayed to himself.

It wasn't until he met Sam that he finally felt like he had a friend. But they had been young and tumultuous. And when they finally broke up and he moved away, he was alone again.

He didn't fit in with his peers at the hospital. He didn't really fit in with his superiors either. Most women he had dated didn't expect him to call them after the first date and he never really met anyone that he minded.

Until Meredith. He wanted her to know that he was there for more than a hookup. He wanted a companion. In all these years, he never had someone he considered a best friend, even Sam. It was too volatile to be that close. He wanted someone he could share the victories with.

But that would have to be next time. He stood outside the hospital for a second and contemplated his options. He could go to Joe's and find random colleagues to celebrate with. But that isn't what he wanted. He wanted to talk to someone he loved.

He glanced down at his watch. It would be late before he made it back but it would be worth it. He hopped on his bike and started the drive.

About an hour later he made it. The cemetery was peaceful at this time. He didn't make it here as often as he wanted but it comforted him when he did. After a short walk, he found the stone.

Maria DeLuca, beloved mother.

"Hi Mama. How are you?" He sat down on the bench next to her. He put his hands on his knees. "A lot has happened since I was here last. I had my first solo surgery today. I didn't really earn it, like Meredith said. It was an accident and an emergency." He balled his hand into a fist and pumped it into the air with a small jerk. "I didn't earn it but I proved that I'm capable today and that feels pretty amazing."

He paused as if giving her time to respond. He was sitting there, envisioning what she would have said had she still been alive. He laughed at the thought.

"And I met someone."

"About time, boy!" She would have said. Then she'd clasp each side of his face and say, "You're not dating that stalker again, yes?"

He laughed. "Mama, no. Sam is very far away."

"Good." She would study him as if judging for the truth. "Between you and your sister, I'm beginning to think you're never going to give me grandchildren."

He looked down at his hands. He wished she were really holding them with her delicate hands. He really missed her hands. "Well, if it works out, you'll have three."

He knew her so well. They were a team of two when they came to America. If she were here, she would have looked deep into his eyes with a smile, then softly slap his face. "Andrea, please tell me you're not with a married woman."

He smiled. "She's a widow." He cocked his head and his eyes warmed. "Mom, she's amazing. You would have loved her."

"What's she like, son? Is she good enough for you this time?"

He shook his head. "She's so beyond me, Mom. When she smiles, my heart races and I can't breathe. I'm a fool for thinking she'd ever waste time on me when she could have anyone she wanted."

"Andrea," she would say softly, cupping his cheek with her hand. "If that's what you think, then you are a fool. She might be able to have anyone she wanted but she can only have one man that loves her like you do."

"Thanks, mama." He reached out and touched the top of her stone. "I miss you."

...

Meredith was picking up the party decorations. The house was dark and quiet now. The day had taken a lot of turns. That's what she was starting to enjoy about her life now. The surprises.

She jumped when she heard a soft knock at her door. Did one of the kids from the party forget something? When she pulled the door open, she gasped.

"DeLuca! What are you doing here?"

"I wondered if you need any help cleaning up."

She looked at him inquisitively. His eyes sparkled and he had a hint of a smile. Her heart clenched. That face. That face was going to get her into trouble. "No, but thank you. Everything is almost back to normal."

"Oh, okay," he said, as though he were going to leave. But he stood there instead, leaning against the doorframe. He looked at her in that way that made her knees shaky. He had this uncanny ability to have an entire conversation with her with just his eyes.

"But I just brewed a pot of coffee." She cocked her head and smiled. "Decaf."

He nodded and returned her smile. "Okay." As he walked through the door, he rubbed her shoulder with his hand. She awkwardly followed him into the kitchen. "Where is everyone?" he asked.

Picking up the coffee pot, she filled two cups. As she sat down at the kitchen table, she handed a cup and said, "The kids are in sugar comas upstairs. Maggie is at Jackson's and Amelia only stays here when she's mad at Owen." She chuckled and took a sip of coffee.

He laughed. "So you basically have the house to yourself?"

Tracing the rim of her cup with her index finger, she said, "This is as close as I get."

His smile faded and he stared into his cup. He was so quiet, she barely heard him when he said, "I wanted to see you today."

Her smile faltered for a second before she rebounded and tried to change the subject. "I heard you were a rock star today. Congratulations, DeLuca."

Turning his head to her, the look he gave her told her that she couldn't pretend. "I want to see you every day."

She shook her head. "I can't give you every day."

He sighed and massaged the back of his neck. "Meredith."

"But I can give you tonight." His eyes flew up and locked on hers. He searched her bright blue eyes for answers. When she didn't look away, he reached across the table and kissed her, sliding his hand to the base of her neck.

She ran her hands through his curls. Sliding off the chair, he knelt down in front of her. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around the small of back. She sat on the edge of the chair, her legs saddled around him.

He nuzzled her neck and she moaned. Her hips bucked against his waist. "You're incredible," he murmured in Italian.

That sent her over the edge. She couldn't breathe. She kissed him deeply while she searched for the tail of his shirt. She slid her hands under his shirt and dug her fingernails into his back.

He cried out and pulled away to look at her. His hair and shirt was a mess and he looked wild eyed. "Andrew," she pleaded. It was his turn to go over the edge.

He wrapped her up around him and stood up. He took her to the island and set her back down, the heels of her bare feet digging into his hips. She pulled his shirt up over his head and took him in for the first time. She knew he would be beautiful, but it surprised her how much she wanted him. She ran her hands down his bare arms and chest as his kiss became deeper, slower, more rhythmic.

As he slowly started unbuttoning her shirt, he kissed the curve of her jaw, then her neck, then clavicle. His lips followed the path of his hands as her shirt slid open. "What are we doing?" she whispered.

He gave her a devilish smile. "We're celebrating." Putting his hands on either side of her shoulders, he gently laid her down across the countertop. He rubbed her legs from her knees to her thighs on either side of his hips. He took her all in as she lay in front of him. He locked eyes with her again as she unbuckled her belt and unbuttoned her jeans. He helped her shrug them down.

When he bent down and kissed her, she nearly came off the counter. Her fingers clasped in his hair, on his shoulders, on the edge of the countertop.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked in Italian.

"No," she said breathily.

"Are you sure?"

"Andrew, please." She felt like a spring tightening and she could feel herself losing control.

Slipping his hands underneath her, he lifted her slightly to bring her to his mouth. "Meredith," her murmured against her skin.

She loved hearing him say her name, in his tender, sensitive, masculine voice. "Keep going."

"Meredith."

"Please don't stop." She was so close now that she could barely breathe.

"Meredith, wake up."

Her body jolted awake. She found herself at the kitchen table, her forehead resting against her forearm on the tabletop. She tilted her head up to see Amelia at her side, trying to shake her awake.

Looking at her watch, she asked, "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I left my wallet here this morning. Owen's in the car, waiting for me."

"Owen? So you guys figured it out?" Meredith asked, her eyebrows raised.

She smiled slightly. "Yeah, we're going home." Then her face got very serious. "Did you know Owen was paralyzed in the OR today?"

Meredith nodded. "I heard. Sounded like DeLuca stepped up."

Amelia's brows furrowed as she reached over the table to grab a bit of birthday cake. Popping it into her mouth, she asked, "Who's talking about DeLuca?"

Meredith blinked, then shrugged. "No one."

Amelia patted Meredith's shoulder, then turned to leave. "I've got to get home. Get some sleep, Mer. In an actual bed."

Meredith gave her a fake smile and waved as she walked out. These dreams were becoming too much. As she stood up and got ready for bed, she wondered how long it would be before the dreams weren't enough.

She looked down at her phone again and saw the last text.

_Next time…_

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

As always, you all are amazing! Thanks so much!

There was a question about the end of the last chapter. Sorry to be confusing! Mer was reading the last text over. Hope that helps clear up any confusion.

Thanks to Soran for giving me the inspiration for this chapter. Again, thank you all and I think you're gonna like this one…Please let me know!

Chapter 7

The floor was dark and almost empty. She liked it like this. She was able to think or not think at all, depending on her mood. Right now, she sat at the nurse's station, watching Garrett and Natasha's room and let thoughts drift carelessly through her mind. She couldn't stay much longer. Her day was almost done and she needed to get home to her children. But there was a perverse comfort in watching the couple.

Natasha had been in a coma for several days now. Her fiancée never left her side. Her blue wedding dress was still hanging in the closer in her hospital room. It was a heartbreaking situation but it was also kind of beautiful. Their love was real. Garrett's devotion to her was palpable.

It reminded her of what she had. It also reminded her of what she had lost. And it made her wonder if she could ever find it again. For the longest time, she had felt that it would be greedy of her to seek out that kind of love again, that it would be unfaithful to Derek somehow and to his memory. But her daughter was much wiser than her and reminded her that love was something you could never have enough of. CeCe insisted as well.

It was like the universe was telling her it was time. She thought it was funny she remembered her daughter's words. Zola had said it the day of Alex's wedding. The same day DeLuca had kissed her for the first time. So far, for the only time.

They had not been able to get their timing right. Between hospital duties, her kids, and her sisters, she barely had time to bathe, let alone date. It had been a relief, though. The flirting, the chase, the waiting had been a lot of fun. She could enjoy DeLuca's infatuation without the pressure of dating him. He seemed to enjoy it too. She knew that wouldn't last forever, but right now, she was enjoying it.

"A coffee for your thoughts."

She jumped when she heard his voice. The hallway was so quiet that his words had cut through the air. Meredith looked up and her heart wrenched when his eyes locked on hers. She found herself doing that every time she saw him now, especially when he looked at her with that smile in his eyes.

"Thanks but I think you're going to feel shortchanged." She took the cup from his hands and watched him sit down in the chair next to her.

"Try me," he said around a laugh, taking a sip of his own coffee.

Her eyes drifted back to the ICU room. "I was just watching Garrett and Natasha."

His face sobered as he watched Garrett talking to someone on a cell phone. He reported Natasha's condition frequently to family and friends. He looked exhausted. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"How so?" She took a sip of her coffee. Her eyebrows rose. How did he know how she took it? He was paying closer attention than he realized.

He motioned at Garrett. "That's the definition of 'unconditional love'. And 'for better or for worse.' It's what we all hope to find someday."

She eyed him curiously. "You've never been in love like that before?"

His head whipped around to stare at her. He furrowed his brow and looked confused. "Of course not."

"No?" she was surprised at his passionate reaction to her question.

"No," he repeated, shaking his head. "If I had ever loved another woman like that, I wouldn't be here with you right now."

She froze. She wasn't ready to ask what he meant by _another woman_. Instead, she focused on his other words: _right now. _Her eyes drifted away from his and she said quietly, "You don't get to choose how long your forever is."

He reached over and put his hand on hers that was resting on the arm of her chair. "I know." His looked at her with sincerity and empathy and she could feel herself boiling over with emotion.

She gave him a sad smile and then said, "What about Sam? You two seemed crazy for each other."

Letting go of her hand, he squinted at her as if he wondered if this was a test or if she might be showing a slight bit of jealousy. She was hoping that he didn't realize it was both. "Crazy is the right word for what Sam and I were to each other. Whenever I'm around her, she takes me back to a time when I was young and needed her. Same for her."

"Andrew, you were ready to marry her seven months ago," she said, playing with the cup in her hand.

He chuckled. "No, I wasn't, Meredith. I was ready to save her any way I could. It was out of passion and compassion, but if I had really loved her," he started and then paused. His eyes looked distant and pained. He shook his head like he was stirring himself from his thoughts and looked at her again. "I would have gone to Switzerland with her."

She gave him a judgey scoff and then sipped more of her coffee. "You were miserable for weeks. I have the wine stains on my couch to prove it."

He rolled his eyes. "I was a mess. And heartbroken. But deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do not to follow her." He looked at Garrett again. "Sam will always be a special person to me, but if I had loved her like Garrett loves Natasha, do you think I'd be here with you?"

She swallowed, wishing she hadn't engaged him in this conversation. "I'm sorry," she said, trying to find a way to steer them in a different direction. "This isn't really any of my business."

He kept looking at the ICU, but he said quietly and firmly, "It is if you want it to be." Then he looked over at her with that look like he was begging her to let him kiss her.

He held her gaze for what felt like an eternity until she blinked and shook her head. "So is your sister still out of the country?"

Her change of subject was so sharp that he actually flinched out of surprise. "Yeah, she's with my Dad in Italy. Why?"

She nodded. "So I'm guessing you plan to fly home for Thanksgiving then."

"No," he said, resting his chin under his fist as he thought. "It's been so long since I've thought about Italy as home."

"So, you're having a Friendsgiving then?" she said with a more playful smile than she actually felt.

He cocked his head and his brow twitched. "Did Dr. Shepherd not tell you she invited me to her and Owen's place for Thanksgiving?"

"No." She knew this was going to sound rude, but now she was panicking a little. "How did you score an invite from Amelia?"

He shrugged, ignoring the slight. "She said that I get an open invitation to all of her major milestones since I helped save her life from the brain tumor."

She laughed. "You can take the tumor out of the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the dramatics."

He laughed too. "I am grateful to Dr. Shepherd. She gave me an opportunity to really step up last year."

She paused. She knew she was about to ask something stupid, but she couldn't help herself. Trying to sound casual, she asked, "So, are you bringing a date to this dinner?"

He frowned and gave her side eye. "You already know the answer to that." She slowly nodded but inside, she was smiling. He then gave her a cocky smile. "Are you asking me to be your date?"

She gave him a very serious look and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I already have a date."

"Oh," he said, his whole face dropping. For a brief second, she saw his jaw clench in jealousy and she got a small sense of satisfaction and delight from it. "I hope you and Link have a good time."

She giggled. "Sure you do." She waited a couple moments, really letting the awkwardness hang in the air. "But he's not my date either."

Spinning his chair around to look at her, he asked, "Who are you going with?"

Her eyes twinkled as her lips curled into a big smile. "Cristina Yang."

TBC.


	8. Chapter 8

So this was a lot of fun! Again, special thanks to Soran for inspiring the idea, thanks to Reagan for the kitchen idea a few chapters ago, and thanks to unnamed guest who gave me the idea for the end. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know!

Chapter 8

"Where is the booze?" Cristina asked as she marched through the door. "Just cause Amelia is an addict, she's still going to serve alcohol right? It's not kosher to invite your ex-wife to the home you share with your other ex-wife that you're dating and raising an insta-family with and not have booze."

"God, yes, there will be booze. I checked." Meredith placed her hand on Cristina's back and guided her towards the bar set. Alex was already there, behind the bar.

Cristina clapped her hands as if she were summoning a waiter. "Barkeep, bring us all the rum!"

He shot Cristina a look and in a dry tone, asked, "You want me to mix it in anything or just hand you the bottle now?"

Returning his look, she said with feigned sweetness, "I wish I could say I missed you."

He harrumphed. "Well, I miss you. It is a full time job being Mer's person."

Cristina snorted. "Tell me about it. I'm 18 percent more productive now that I'm in Switzerland. I've charted it."

Alex's eyebrow rose. "Can you send that to me in a powerpoint?"

Meredith took her drink from Alex as she said drolly, "Like you two are a picnic." Pointing at Cristina, she said, "I'm going to be chasing you around all day trying to keep you drunk enough to not care that you're at Owen and Amelia's but sober enough to keep you from forgetting that you're at Owen and Amelia's."

Cristina cocked her head and squinted. "Are you already tipsy?"

Meredith shrugged. "I might have pre-gamed." She turned to Alex, her hair flipping behind her as she pointed at him. "And you, I've got to keep you from committing any more felonies."

Cristina laughed. "That reminds me. Which one of these newbies is DeLuca?"

It was Alex's turn to snort. "How do you even know his name? And why do you care?"

"Are you kidding?" she asked. Taking a sip of her drink, she said, "The entire populace of Switzerland knows who Andrew DeLuca is. Sam Bello wouldn't shut up about him for the first three months."

Meredith felt a twinge of jealousy seep through her and she immediately chided herself for it. It didn't stop her from asking, "So she's over him now?"

"Hardly," Cristina said. "She talks about him only every _other_ day now."

Alex scoffed. "What does this guy got? Maggie dated him. Patience go nuts for him. I don't see it."

Annoyed, Cristina said, "Well, point him out already." Alex jutted his chin in DeLuca's direction. He was in the corner of the room with Webber. He was animatedly waving his hands as they both laughed, clearly telling a story. Cristina's jaw dropped and she laughed incredulously. "That's DeLuca?"

Meredith eyed her with a frown. "Yes, why?"

"No wonder Bello stalked him across the country," she said, running her hands through her thick hair. "That man is not a doctor. That's an underwear model who wandered into the hospital and pretended to be a doctor and he was so pretty, no one said anything."

Alex chuckled. "You're not far off exactly."

"He's not _that_ good looking. He's actually quite capable," Meredith said before taking a long sip of her drink.

Cristina scrunched her face as she looked at Alex. "You let her get boring."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "I need more alcohol," she said, reaching past Alex and grabbing the wine bottle.

"So what's his nickname?" Cristina asked as she took a bite of an appetizer.

Alex eyed her for a second as she swayed, waiting for an answer. He furrowed his brow and asked, "Are you drunk?"

"Seriously?" she asked, giving him a stern face. Then breaking into a laugh, she said, "I drink a whole airplane bottle of vodka before the plane ever took off." When Alex gave her a judgmental look, she said, "Did you really think I'd attend this sober?"

The three stared out into the room, observing the other guests for an awkward pause. Then Alex said dryly, "You know, in the last fifteen years, I thought we had grown up. We just got older."

They all laughed. Meredith said, "We grew up. We just never became better people." They laughed harder.

Cristina took a long sip of her drink and watched DeLuca for a few minutes. "Surely you call him something. The Italian Stallion. McStud." Her eyes got big. "McCannoli!"

Meredith blinked at her. "How about we call him DeLuca because that's his name? We don't objectify people in this era, remember?"

Cristina eyed him again. "He's single though, right?"

Meredith started to panic now. Her eyes flitted from her best friend to her...DeLuca. Trying to sound nonchalant, she said, "I'd really have no idea. You'd have to ask him. Alex, do you know?"

His forehead crinkled as he stared at her like she was crazy. "Why the hell would I know that? I'm his chief, not his grandmother."

It was Cristina's turn to reach for the bottle. "How many people tell their grandmothers who they're dating?"

He cocked his brow. "Have I ever given you the impression I'm familiar with how normal families function?"

Meredith popped a cashew into her mouth as she said, "Like we're the baseline for normal families? I'm not entirely confident I know how many sisters I actually have in this room. That family secret is like a clown car that just keeps pouring out surprise sisters."

They laughed again even louder. The commotion was apparently loud enough to catch DeLuca's attention. Meredith caught him watching her. He had shifted himself so that he could see her while he talked to Richard. The now familiar warmth of attraction traveled through her body as he smiled at her.

"So why did I have to hear from Evil Spawn that you're seeing someone?" Cristina asked, half with annoyance and half with devilish teasing.

Meredith's head turned so fast to see her friend that she thought she would have whiplash. Her jaw dropped and she hit Alex in the shoulder. "You told her? When?"

"Ow," he mumbled while taking a bite of carrot. "I told her on the way back from the airport." Laughing at her, he said, "You guys drink for entertainment. Torturing you is mine."

Meredith glared at him for a few moments, speechless. Then she shook her head and said, "I'm not seeing anyone. I _met _someone."

Cristina blinked at her. "I'm not drunk enough for that to sound deep and meaningful."

Meredith made a face at her. "I met someone but we haven't actually went out yet," she said, waving her head in front of her like it helped push the words out. "It's still really new."

Cristina eyed her suspiciously. "So what's this guy like?"

His lip curled as he picked up a cracker. "He has all these feelings," he said with wide eyes, remembering Meredith's description of DeLuca.

"God, that sounds terrible," Cristina said, rolling her eyes.

Meredith choked on her wine. "Guys, can we talk about this later when the entirety of my family, friends and coworkers aren't in earshot?"

"Talk about what?" Just then, DeLuca strode up and poured himself a glass of wine.

Cristina chortled as she took another drink. "About who Mer's dating."

"Cristina!" Meredith blushed and looked down. When she had the nerve to look up, she caught DeLuca smiling at her. She could see it in his eyes though. He was laughing at her. She blushed again.

He turned to Cristina and asked, "What do you know about this guy?"

Cristina leaned toward him conspiratorially and whispered, "Apparently he has feelings."

"Feelings?" DeLuca asked in surprise, his eyebrows raised. "Guy sounds like a real loser." His eyes flitted to Meredith for a split second.

"Right?" Cristina agreed, her eyes big. She was delightfully tipsy and clearly flirting. "Who has time for sensitive and evolved men?"

He chuckled at her and stuck out his hand. "I'm Dr. Andrew DeLuca."

"Cristina Yang," she said, taking his hand. "You come highly recommended."

"Really?" he said with a surprised look. "By who?"

Cristina's eyebrow flinched. She replied dryly, "By your ex."

He looked down and nodded, letting out a sigh. He looked embarrassed that he had forgotten. "Sam. Of course. How is she?

Cristina appeared to ignore the blunder. "She's thriving in Switzerland. Sam's a good doctor."

DeLuca smiled and gave a quick nod. "I'm glad she's doing well.

Cristina cocked her head and said in a dry tone, "She's clearly pining over someone who's not pining for her though."

It was DeLuca's turn to blush. "I'm sorry to hear that. Really." He swallowed and looked over at Meredith before returning his attention back to Cristina. "But I met someone."

"Oh," Cristina said, her entire mood changing. She cocked her head back and squared her shoulders. Then she squinted at him and said, "Did you _meet_ someone or are you _seeing_ someone?"

Meredith gave her a dirty look for her sarcasm. "Have I told you how much I've missed you?" she asked with syrupy sweetness.

"No," Cristina said, matching her tone.

"Good." Meredith smiled widely. "And I'm not going to."

Cristina whipped back around to DeLuca and said, "Answer the question, Resident."

DeLuca's mouth gaped open and his eyes bounced from Alex to Cristina to Meredith. "I've met someone that I think is really special but she won't tell me how she feels."

"Maybe she just isn't into you, man," Alex muttered as he walked away from the bar.

DeLuca responded to Alex but was looking directly at Meredith when he said, "Maybe she's not brave enough to admit how she feels."

Cristina rolled her head back and groaned. "When I left this country, men were still repressed and never talked about their feelings. What the hell happened?" Cristina tipped her glass at DeLuca and Meredith before making a dramatic turn and gliding towards Tom Koracick.

Meredith watched her walk away until her eyes were drawn back to DeLuca. He was staring at her with a glint in his eyes and a boyish grin. She gave him an annoyed look. "What?" she asked.

He leaned toward the bar like he was grabbing the wine bottle. As he took it, he bent down close to her ear and whispered in Italian, "You told your friends about me."

She felt like she was blushing from tip to toe. To hide it, she flipped her hair and said with a bright smile, "How do you know I was talking about you?"

He scoffed. "Oh, please. And by the way," he started. He poured wine into his glass and then moved towards her to pour more wine into her glass. Softly, he said, "You look stunning in that dress."

He set the wine bottle back down on the bar, smiled at her, and walked away. She watched his stride as he left her and she wondered why in the hell it took her so long to notice him in all these years. Had he changed so much that he had just now become the type of man she wanted? Or had her eyes not seen what her heart hadn't been ready for?

As she caught herself enjoying being the one to observe him now, she knew she already knew the answer to that.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

You all are SO amazing. Thank you so very much for all of the support. This one is short and sweet. Thanks to the "Guest" who gave me the idea for the end.

And thanks to KatieWho for pointing out that I didn't set Character Filters!

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 9

Cristina was sprawled out in sweatpants on Meredith's sectional sofa, hugging a pillow. It was quiet now. They had left Owen and Amelia's Thanksgiving party mostly unscathed. The kids were tucked in for the night, so now it was just Cristina and Meredith downstairs, reconnecting.

Meredith handed her friend a cup of tea, covering herself with a blanket as she sat down.

Cristina's face was passive as she blew on the top of her cup. Nonchalantly, she asked, "So how long has this thing with you and DeLuca been going on?"

Meredith's head jerked up. She laughed, her eyes crinkling. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, please," Cristina said, frowning. "I might not be around every day but I'm still your person." She finally laughed, saying, "But I'm actually surprised I'm the only one to notice."

"How _did_ you notice?" Meredith asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. She suddenly felt very exposed.

"Well, for one," Cristina said, taking a sip of her tea, "he forgot Sam Bello existed today the moment he saw you today."

Meredith's eyes dropped to her lap and she gave a small, shy smile. "And for second?"

Cristina locked eyes with Meredith and smiled, letting out a long breath. "Your whole energy changes as soon as he's in your orbit." Cristina's dark eyes warmed and she put her hand on top of Meredith's. "I haven't seen you smile like this in years."

Her shoulders slumped and she took a long drink from her cup. She was relieved she could finally talk about Andrew with her best friend. "It started a few weeks ago," she said. Then after a pause, she added, "Well, except he kissed me at Alex's wedding."

"What?" Cristina said, her mouth gaping open. "You really need to fire Alex as your filler 'person'. How has he not noticed any of this?"

"Stop," Meredith said, giggling. "DeLuca was heartbroken about Sam leaving and was drunk. It wasn't a big deal."

"Sure, no big deal," Cristina nodded. "Except now he's completely in love with you." Meredith tossed a pillow at her. "You said you haven't actually started dating him."

"No," Meredith said, shaking her head. "He's asked me out a few times, but I haven't said yes."

Cristina kept eye contact with her friend. "Do you want to?"

"I don't know." Meredith held her cup with both hands close to her chest and inhaled the warm scent of her chai tea. Shaking her head, she said, "There are so many reasons why this won't work."

"But?"

"Then he looks at me." Meredith looked far away as her thoughts drifted to DeLuca. "He looks at me like—"

Meredith's words drifted off and Cristina finished her thought, saying, "He looks at you like you're the sun." Cristina set down her coffee mug and turned on the couch to fully focus on her friend, grabbing both her hands with her own. "Look, there are always a thousand reasons in any relationship why you shouldn't be together. There were so many obstacles in front of you and Derek. But there are very few people who will make you smile like that. And even fewer who treat you like the sun."

Meredith's entire body relaxed against the couch. She had her best friend's approval. She knew she was right. With a glint in her eyes, she smiled and said, "He flirts in Italian too."

"Good god," she said in an appreciative moan. Cristina's mood changed to match Meredith's lighthearted tone. She picked her mug back up and tilted it towards Meredith in a cheers. Then she cocked her head and furrowed her brow as she asked, "Have we worked with an unusually large amount of attractive people?"

Meredith laughed and gave her a cheers back, saying, "It's like we live in a soap opera or something."

TBC.


	10. Chapter 10

You guys are a blast. I'm having so much fun! I really wasn't sure what to do with this chapter, so I was afraid I'd be stuck for several days. But you gave me inspiration in your reviews and I was able to figure it out. I hope you enjoy! As always, please let me know!

Chapter 10

He was flipping eggs in a small skillet when he heard a soft knock at the door. Shutting off the stove, he padded in his bare feet to the door. He started when he opened the door to Meredith.

She looked very different outside of the hospital. Softer. Tough-as-nails Dr. Grey was so appealing to him. She was a force of nature in the hospital, a beast in the OR. But the version of Meredith Grey standing in front of him was wholly appealing as well.

Her hair looked touchable as it curled around her shoulders. She was wearing a thin, navy blue jacket with a blue and white striped shirt underneath and boyfriend jeans. Delicate flats made her look chic and petite.

On a Monday morning, she looked like perfection. He felt decidedly exposed. His hair was still damp from the shower he had just taken. His feet were bare. He was wearing a gray tank and loose, black yoga pants that hung off his hips.

"Dr. Grey," he said, before correcting himself. "Meredith. Is everything okay?"

She clutched her purse strap and shifted her feet. "Yeah," she stammered. "I stopped by the hospital today and you weren't there."

His brow furrowed and he cocked his head as he looked at her inquisitively. "It's my day off."

"I know," she said, nodding. "I'm off today too."

His smile widened slowly as he started to realize what she was saying. "And your kids?"

"School and daycare." Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she said quietly, "Do you think maybe I can get out of the hallway?"

He blinked, realizing that he hadn't invited her in. "Of course. I'm sorry, Meredith." He stepped back and let her in, squeezing the crook of her arm as she walked past. "There's a decent coffee shop on the corner. If you'd wait a couple minutes, I can grab some shoes and pants and we could walk down."

She set her purse down on the coffee table and looked around the room. "I don't want coffee."

"Oh, okay," He said, clapping his hands together. "I just made eggs. Are you hungry?"

She turned to look at him, her bright blue eyes staring a hole into his. Then she shook her head. "Not for breakfast," she said as she took three long strides until she was standing right in front of him. Sliding her hands around his torso, she reached up and kissed him.

It took him a minute to realize what was happening before his brain shut off and his attraction took control. He wrapped his arms around the small of her back and pulled her to him until their hips met. He helped her shrug out of her jacket and then slid his hands down her bare arms. When his hands found hers, he entwined their fingers and gave her a long, slow kiss.

With their hands still connected, he walked her backwards to the couch. He sat down, resting his back on the corner. Taking her by her hips, he guided her onto his lap and she straddled him. As he leaned back, she moved forward, dusting light kisses on his jaw line.

He slipped his hand underneath the back of her shirt to feel her smooth, warm skin. Her chest rose and fell against his and he took in the inviting, feminine scent of her perfume. She began kissing his neck and he cupped the back of her head, running his fingers through that touchable hair.

"I thought you didn't want to skip a bunch of steps," he murmured against her ear before taking her lobe into his mouth.

A low moan escaped her and her forehead fell on his shoulder. Nuzzling against his neck, she said, "What's your middle name?"

She was doing some pretty amazing things with her tongue on his collar bone and it was almost impossible for him to focus enough to remember. "Uh, Vincenzo."

"Abigail," she whispered. "Favorite band?"

"The Beatles," he said, running his hand from the base of her hairline down her spine until he felt her belt.

She kissed him again, then said, "The Go Gos." Grabbing the base of his tank, she started tugging it off. "Favorite food?"

He watched this glorious woman on top of him in control. He smiled. "Barbecue."

She feathered her fingers across his bare chest. "Strawberry ice cream." He locked eyes with her and put hi hand on her chest. She put her hand on top of his. Her eyes were glassy and her breathing was unsteady. "Want to give me a tour of your apartment?"

"Uh, sure," he stumbled. They struggled to get off the couch. Her hand still in his, he led her through the room. "You're in the living room." They kept walking. "This is the hallway. Bathroom to your right." She nodded as if listening intently. "And this is the bedroom," he said as he stopped in front of the door. He turned to face her, his big brown eyes looking directly into hers. He squeezed her hand.

She looked at him very seriously. "Well, I think we covered all the major steps, don't you?" she said, breaking into a smile.

He chuckled. Then he grew sober and gently held either her shoulders in his hands. "Are you sure, Meredith?"

She took a step closer to him and said in a near-whisper, "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

That was all he needed to lose the last string of reason he had. He took the hem of her shirt and pulled it slowly over her head.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his still-wet hair. He bent down and scooped her up until she was in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist. She was kissing him fiercely until his brain felt like it was on fire. He fumbled to find the doorknob and pushed it open.

Still in his arms, she consumed him. Her essence—scent, hair, hands, lips—was all around him as he carried her to his bed. He gently laid her down and took a moment to take her in for the first time. She was slender and fragile but her eyes were stormy and passionate. Her hair spread against his pillowcase. She looked soft but powerful. He was completely in awe of this woman. He could barely breathe.

"You are beautiful," he said in Italian.

"_You're_ beautiful." She put her hands on the back of his neck and pulled her down to him.

He kissed her deeply, then braced his arm near her head and looked down at her. His eyes traced all the details of her face as if he were trying to remember this moment forever. Overwhelmed, he asked, "Are you real?"

She smiled widely. "No."

He nearly jumped out of bed. Breathing hard, he blinked several times as he tried to figure out where he was. Blue walls. Window blinds. Bunk beds. He was in an on-call room. He had been dreaming.

And dear lord, what a dream. He hadn't had a dream that powerful since he was fifteen, probably because he was able to find the real thing whenever he wanted. But he hadn't been with a woman since Sam fled the country. Not because of Sam, but because after he had kissed Meredith just weeks after Sam left, he didn't want another woman but Meredith. Even while he watched her go on dates with other men, he went home every night.

It had been six months now and it was doing interesting things to his body. He had already noticed that it pushed him to be a better doctor. He was happier and more confident. But he was also having increasingly vivid and passionate dreams. About Meredith.

But he was also getting anxious. He didn't want to push her, but she had known for a few weeks now how he felt about her. And he was certain she was attracted to him. He was ready to jump off the cliff with her if she would just take his hand.

He let his head fall to the pillow in a deep sigh. In the quiet of the room, he let his feelings have a voice. "Meredith."

...

Meredith was leaning against the rail of the large walkway. She was drinking her coffee and watching people go in and out of the hospital. Her real thoughts, though, were about her friend. She was so happy Cristina had come home. Not only because it had been too long since the last time she had seen her person, but also because her person had provided her with approval and clarity.

Andrew DeLuca was a good man. He wanted her. And despite her barrage of excuses, she wanted him too. It's why she had so many excuses. She hadn't wanted someone like this in four years.

She had been physically attracted to Nathan Riggs and she was willing to explore the possibility of something more. But when he left, it didn't affect her at all. She was happy for him. She encouraged it. He had been there when she needed physical comfort.

But whatever was happening with her and DeLuca was something else entirely. It was physical. _And_ comfort. It was emotional. She didn't want a physical distraction. She wanted _him_.

And Cristina approved. She pointed out that Meredith was smiling again. Really smiling. In fact, she said her whole energy changed when DeLuca was in the room. She took a sip of her coffee and pondered that thought. Was it true?

She had been able to build a life for herself and her children without Derek. It had been hard and painful as hell, but she did it. Her kids were happy and healthy. Her career was thriving. She had two sisters and a fully, energetic home. She was happy. Genuinely happy. She had discovered in the last four years that she didn't need another man to make her happy.

So what about this man made her energy changed? DeLuca was a strong, passionate, sensitive man. A person was aware of his presence in a room without him needing to be the center of attention. Little girls that were lucky enough to be his patients fell in love with him. So did the older ones. His compassion overflowed for his patients and they felt it. He had this calming, loving force.

But she didn't need him to make her happy. He didn't _make _her happy. She liked being around him because he was such a positive force that she could _share_ her happiness with him. And at this stage in her life, if she were ever to find love again, that's what she wanted. Someone to _share_ with, not depend on for happiness.

She was deep in these thoughts when he strode up next to her and leaned against the rail next to her, his shoulder just inches from hers. "Good morning, Dr. Grey."

Turning her head to look at him, she saw the knowing smile in his eyes. He always had it now when he looked at her, as if to remind her that she almost kissed him in the elevator and that one day, she'd let him try again. Giving him a professional smile and nod, she said, "Dr. DeLuca. How are you today?"

"Good," he said, taking a drink of his coffee. "Is Cristina still here?"

She shook her head. "She left for the airport this morning." She tilted her head to look up at him over her brow. "I miss her already."

He put his arm on her shoulder. "I'm sure." Then he chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I understand why you love her so much now but she's kind of terrifying."

Meredith bent over laughing. "That's _why _I love her."

His eyebrows shot up. "I'm actually relieved I only have to deal with Alex. And he put me in the hospital."

She gave him a sympathetic look and placed her hand on his forearm that was resting against the rail. "Well, she liked you."

His smile widened and his eyes gave her that boyish glint she was getting used to. "So you do talk about me to your friends."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "She thought you were handsome. You could have got her number if you had asked."

He cocked his said and said playfully, "I would have." He watched her flinch in surprise. He turned to face her. His eyes softened as he said, "But I've already met the woman that I want."

She pursed her lips to prevent herself from smiling but the sparkle in her eyes betrayed her. She patted his shoulder and said, "Have a good day, Dr. DeLuca."

"Dr. Grey," he said as she walked away. She couldn't see him but she was sure that he was watching her leave.

And he couldn't see her, but her smile was a mile wide.

TC


	11. Chapter 11

I haven't had a chance to thank everyone personally, but as always, you all are amazing. Thanks for all the love and support! We are finally at Christmas! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 11

He hadn't seen her coming until he had plowed into her with his Christmas ham. She had grabbed onto him for support as he tried to pick up her purse. "Sorry."

"Hey," she said softly. There was an enthusiastic tone in her voice that sounded happy to see him.

"Hi," he said with a smile. _Everything is an opportunity_, he thought. "Uh, I…I was just leaving and looks like you are too. Do you want to take our hams out for a drink?"

Her giggle was everything. "That sounds amazing, but I have to get home because it's Christmas Eve. I have to put the kids to bed so that Santa can come."

He nodded. "Right. Soon though?" He reached out and tapped her hand, his brow furrowed

"Yes," she said, locking eyes with him. Then she said in a whisper, "Yeah." He nodded, not losing eye contact. Then he started to walk away when she stopped him by saying, "Oh, you know, actually the Karevs are having a _very_ _classy _New Year's Eve party." She winked at her sarcasm.

He smiled at her joke _and _her proposal. "I'll be there." He walked away before she had time to change her mind. After all these months of secretly pining, after weeks of asking her out, she had finally said yes. And she only had a week to find a way out of it.

As he walked towards the parking lot, seeds of doubt crept in. What if this was like Thanksgiving? There had been a lot of mooning across the table and flirtation but she hadn't given any indication to anyone in the room that they were more than just coworkers. He couldn't fault her for that. They hadn't actually gone on a date yet. They had zero obligations to each other.

But he was getting tired of all the time they were wasting. The back and forth flirtation was a lot of fun but he had already wasted four months by not telling her how he felt and now she had spent two months deciding how she felt about his confession. Between the two of them, they could have spent the last six months together, getting to know each other and instead they had waffled. He knew what he wanted and whom he wanted it with and he was ready for the rest of his life to start.

But he couldn't tell her that. She was skittish enough as it was. If she knew how deeply he felt for her, she'd run for the hills. He knew if they could just get out of this hospital together, she would finally be ready to tell him how she felt.

So he just had to get to New Year's Eve.

...

She had surprised herself by being that forward in front of her closest friends. But Alex knew that she had met someone so it wouldn't be that big of a shock surely. Maybe it would get Jo off her back about Link.

And DeLuca had asked her with such confidence, such boyish innocence like there was nothing wrong with this man asking this woman out for a drink in front of God and everyone, that it gave her confidence too.

She had finally said yes to a date with DeLuca. More than that, she had even been the one to ask him out. As she tucked her kids into bed for Christmas Eve, she started to realize the implications.

This was going to be a first date, their first time to really get to know each other, outside of the hospital. First dates were almost always awkward and they were going to have theirs on an incredibly romantic holiday in front of all of their family, friends, and coworkers.

What was she thinking?

But as she snuck downstairs to prepare Santa's gifts, she kept seeing that face he gave her. _Soon though? _He was so damn attractive and so attracted to her. Of course she had been sucked in. She took a breath and told herself she was being silly. Once they were out together, all of her doubts would be gone.

So she just had to get to New Year's Eve.

…

The next day had been a Christmas miracle. DeLuca had been there to watch their patient Natasha wake up. Her fiancée Garrett was uncontrollably happy. Their outpouring of love bolstered DeLuca. Sometimes, things do turn out okay.

The next day, an army of doctors was in Natasha's room to review her case. As they dispersed, he witnessed Link try to flirt with Meredith. Feeling an opportunity to be cocky, he strode up next to her and asked, "When are you going to stop stringing him along?"

She paused, her hair in a sassy ponytail. She gave him a knowing look as if to call him out on his machismo. "Excuse me?"

He wasn't ready to let it go. "You heard me. Link. He likes you and you keep giving him false hope."

"Who says it's false?" she seemed shocked at his bluntness but there was an underlying current of flirtation and attraction, even when they argued.

His eyebrows shot up and his voice went down even deeper and cockier. He turned his head and said, "Oh, please. We both know it is."

She tried to match his cockiness with a smile. "Do we?"

His frustration bubbled over so much that English words couldn't explain how he felt. In Italian he said, "Look, I'm getting tired of wasting time not being with you." He looked out through the hallway, away from her as he waited a few pauses for her to translate what he said.

"Andrew," she said in a sharp tone. She only ever used his first name when she was trying to get him to stop whatever he was trying to talk her into.

He stopped and turned to face her. "New Year's Eve," he said, pointing at her, his brows raised. "Is that a date? Or is that like, 'Oh, come to this party and we'll make eyes at each other over the punch but I'm not really brave enough to talk to you'?"

There was a competitive spark in her eye now that excited him. He had released the beast. Her ponytail swung as she said, "I've been called a lot of things. 'Not brave enough' isn't one of them."

He smiled, his eyes warming to her now. She didn't realize how much he loved the fire in her. He cocked his head to the side and waited patiently. She just stared at him so he cocked his head to the other side.

Her voice became high pitched and she said, "Fine, it's a date!"

He walked away without a reaction, hoping it would drive her crazy. Then he waited thirty seconds, banking on her watching him leave. He cocked his elbow in the universal sign of victory, knowing it would make her smile.

As much as he wanted to, he stayed cocky and didn't turn around to see her reaction.

It was official. He had a date with Meredith Grey.

…

A few days later, Meredith was sitting in a break room alone, typing an email to Cristina, but really, she was thinking about DeLuca. He had gotten so cocky so quickly. His cockiness didn't make her uncomfortable. It was _why _he was so cocky.

He was the first man since Derek that knew what she wanted before she was ready to admit it. And the only one besides Alex that was willing to call her on it. Considering they really hadn't known each other for that long, his intimacy startled her.

How did Andrew DeLuca sneak into her heart and head so far so fast? That wasn't a difficult question to answer, even though she didn't want to ask it. He challenged her. He supported her. He made her feel like a badass doctor but also like a beautiful woman. Most importantly, he made her feel again.

She liked it. It scared the hell out of her.

She was deep in these thoughts when she heard, "Hey, you." Her head whipped up and she saw DeLuca approaching her with two cups of coffee. He handed her one as he sat down at the table next to her.

"Thank you," she said. "How are you?"

"Not good," he said, shaking his head. He was frowning.

Her heart sank and she had a pit in her stomach. "What's wrong?"

He looked pained, his eyes squinted. He put his hand over his chest as he said, "You see, since you made it official that New Year's Eve is a date..."

His words drifted off and she could feel the blood draining from her face. What was he trying to say?

His face still serious, he looked into her blue eyes and said, "…I have spent the last three days wondering what you're going to wear." He bent forward towards her, his eyes wide and soulful. "It's been torture really."

She smiled and looked down at her laptop. Then she composed herself and looked up at him. "I am a serious doctor and mother of three," she said with feigned scolding. "I don't have time to worry about what I look like."

He returned her teasing with feigned seriousness. Nodding, he said, "Right, right. I'm sorry about that." Then he gave her side eye and a devilish smile. "You're also a total knockout. No matter what you're wearing?"

She was afraid she was blushing. Chuckling, she asked, "Then why do you care what I'm wearing."

His eyebrows rose. "Well, that's what's driving me crazy. I keep picturing you in that dress you wore to the Karevs' wedding and it's kept me distracted all week." His eyes hazed over as he waved his hands to make the motion of Mer in the dress.

Her mouth opened but words didn't come out. He had that affect on her a lot. Shaking her head, she said, "I can't wear a best man's dress to a New Year's party."

He laughed. "Fine. Can you at least give me a hint so I don't accidentally kill a patient from being so distracted?"

"Okay," she said, rolling her eyes. She leaned forward and in a breathy, flirty voice, she said, "It's purple. And long." She leaned in even closer and whispered, "And low cut."

"Dear God," he muttered. He leaned back and looked away, muttering in Italian that she couldn't understand.

But she got the gist. She smiled. Someone walked into the room and headed for the coffee pot. Meredith sat up straight and started typing again on her laptop. In a professional tone, she said, "Is that all you needed, Dr. DeLuca?"

Clearing his throat, he said, "I think that covers it, Dr. Grey. Thank you." He stood up and headed towards the door. He turned back to look at her one last time and caught her watching him. His eyes flitted over to the doctor at the coffee pot who was oblivious. Then he looked back at Meredith and winked at her. She gave him a death stare back as she was afraid they would get caught.

But as he left the room and she stared blankly at the screen, she smiled widely. Now it was her turn to be distracted.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Okay! So as always, thank you! This fic is following along with season 15. The New Years / Valentine's Episode is a big one, so it's going to be split up into several chapters. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 12

He felt like a complete idiot. He had been standing by himself for the last hour and a half at the Karevs' New Years party. When he saw Schmidt, he had told him that Meredith had decided to stay at the hospital because Natasha was using the speaking valve for the first time. As the entire room started counting down to midnight, he had held out hope that she had changed her mind and found a way to get there.

He was wearing his best, soft black leather jacket. He even wore a purple button down so that he'd match her dress. Such an idiot.

He had checked his watch and cell phone every five minutes prior to midnight. No texts from anyone but his sister and Arizona Robbins. He was the only resident at the party. He was completely alone.

And he stood there, counting down with everyone else, with a fake smile on his face. He leaned against the bar, nursing his drink and his wounded pride as everyone around him kissed their date at midnight.

Idiot.

To make matters worse, Link approached him and asked him if Meredith had stood him up too. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. He thought he knew Meredith Grey and understood what she wanted. Now, he was questioning if he knew her at all. Was she playing a game with both of them?

His gut told him that she wasn't like that though. That instinct turned to worry. Maybe something had happened. Maybe there was a good reason she couldn't make it. He sat down his drink on the bar and slipped out of the loft.

It took him about half an hour to get to the hospital. It was dark and quiet by 1:00 am on New Year's, so he was able to quickly rush to the ICU. He stopped short when he saw Meredith. She was sitting at the nurse's station, reading a research magazine as Natasha and Garrett celebrated in their glass room. Meredith's phone was sitting on the desk.

He checked his own phone again. No texts. No calls. He turned and left without saying a word. A heartbroken idiot.

….

Meredith opened her locker and felt instant guilt. Her purple dress was still hanging in its plastic dust cover. She grabbed her bag and the dress, hanging it over her forearm.

She was definitely ready to go home and see her children. It had been a really long day. She had decided to stay late because Natasha was using her speaking valve for the first time. She had missed Alex and Jo's party but it had been worth it to make sure everything went successfully for Natasha.

At least, that's what she told herself as she made her way to the elevators. It wasn't because she panicked at the idea of starting the New Year with DeLuca. It wasn't because she was afraid to kiss him for the first time.

But Natasha had made her doubt herself. She had revealed that Garrett had been telling her about Meredith's love life like it was a soap opera. He even had a nickname for Link and DeLuca: Abercrombie and Stitch. She felt silly. She didn't want patients gossiping or even seeing that she had a love life. She was an award-winning doctor. A mother of three. A widow. Romance just seemed so beyond her now.

But.

But then Garrett had come in while she was talking to Natasha. He had looked all over the hospital for sparking water so they could celebrate New Years. In his search, he had actually missed the countdown. So he rewound the footage on their laptop so they could experience the ball drop together.

Before the countdown ended, Natasha had grabbed Meredith and told her to kiss the one that turned back time for her. In that moment, she saw a face flash before her eyes.

Her smile faltered as she watched the happy couple kiss. She hadn't experienced love like they had in years. Turning back time for _her_ meant something entirely different. It meant to turn back to feelings she had when her husband was still alive, feelings she never thought she'd find again. She knew exactly who turned back that time for her.

But acknowledging that was still overwhelming. She couldn't be in their room anymore. They were so happy with each other, they hadn't noticed when she left.

She had spent the next couple hours sitting at the nurses' station reading research material. Every few minutes, her eyes flitted to her phone. She knew she should send an apology text, at least let DeLuca know that she was okay and that she was sorry.

But.

But she continued to stare at the magazine like she was actually reading it. They hadn't actually done anything yet. They hadn't gone on a date. They hadn't kissed. They could make a clean break now with minimal fallout. She would apologize to him in person the next time she saw him. He would understand that she had a patient.

She kept telling herself that as she hung the dress up in her car and got in. Surely it would be easy for them both to move on when they hadn't even started. It would be fine.

…

By January 5th, Meredith knew everything was decidedly not fine. By the third day, she had discovered that he had requested to be placed on Amelia's service. When they did have to be in a room together, he avoided eye contact and stayed on the other side of the room.

She realized that it was going to be harder than she thought to cut ties so easily. She found herself missing his smile, his corny jokes, his eyes. She wanted to discuss patients with him. She missed bouncing ideas off him. She was surprised how quickly he had become a constant part of her life.

For the first time in four days, he walked past Natasha's room.

She was leaving Natasha's room and walked right into him. Her eyes were big and her voice was excited. "Hey!"

"Dr. Grey," he greeted her in a muted tone. He barely looked at her and kept walking at a face past.

She pretended not to notice and looked cheerful, hoping to brighten the mood. "I haven't seen you in a few days. How have you been?"

He practically bristled. "Stood up," he said curtly.

She felt like a heel. "Sorry," she said, knowing that it wasn't enough but hoping he'd let it pass.

He didn't. "I don't know if you've ever been stood up before but it feels pretty awful."

That stung but she was ready to defend herself. "Well, I had a patient."

His exasperation bubbled over. "You have a phone." He gave her a quick glance that showed her his anger and disappointment.

She felt sick but didn't know what to say as she watched him walk towards the elevators. When he realized he was going to have to wait for the elevator to reach their floor, he signed and turned back towards her, saying, "Look, it's been fun. The waiting. The buildup. The game. But that? That wasn't fun. It was just rude."

She had never seen this side of him. She finally knew how much pushing it took to agitate him. She wanted the fun, flirty, puppy dog back. She didn't know what to say to get him there so she weakly just said, "You're right."

But he wasn't done making her feel guilty. "I'm a good guy, Meredith. But I'm not a doormat. If that's what you're after, then I don't know, maybe Link is your guy after all."

Before she could respond, he got in the elevator and gave her one final, disappointed look before turning away.

She stared at the closed elevator doors for a few moments. She had a pit in her stomach. When did Andrew DeLuca become someone that had this much effect on her? She missed the puppy dog, but he had also confirmed to her just now that he was also a man. He could stand up for himself, even to her. She just wasn't sure what to do with this man.

It didn't happen very often, but she wished Cristina were still here.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

I did a lot of digging into the Valentine's episode to really understand the timeline. Luckily, Schmidt actually records how much time passes every so often by reporting how many days Natasha has been in the hospital.

I did not realize how much time passes between major scenes in this episode! In the episode, Merluca goes a couple weeks between talking to each other in two specific sections. So I've had some fun filling in the time with "scenes" we didn't see. Hope you enjoy! As always, you're all amazing!

Chapter 13

It had been almost two weeks since DeLuca had confronted Meredith for standing him up. He wasn't refusing to be on her service any more. They were cordial and professional but the looks, the flirtation, the possibility of a date—all of it seemed like from another lifetime now.

He had thought she would give him a real apology or at least send him a text but she had gone completely radio silent. She had told him that a drink with him sounded _amazing _on Christmas Eve. She had asked him out at New Years, but now, with no explanation, seemingly no reason, she had given up.

It killed him. He wanted to understand why she would so easily throw away something that felt so real to him. But he refused to be the first one to break. He told her he wasn't a doormat and he was going to stick to it.

But he missed her like hell. He would have been surprised how quickly she got into his heart had it been anyone but Meredith Grey. He was more surprised that a woman that far beyond him had even given him a moment's thought. He was also surprised that a woman that amazing was acting so childish.

So, during his lunch break, he had snuck into a stairwell to sit and reflect. He didn't feel like sitting in a lunchroom watching Meredith pretend everything was okay.

He was deep in these thoughts when Bohkee walked down the stairs past him. She stopped when she saw him, asking, "Dr. DeLuca, why are you here? Is everything okay?"

His head whipped up when he saw the nurse. He gave her a warm smile. "I'm okay, Bohkee. Why are you sneaking down the stairs instead of taking the elevator?"

She looked at him like a disapproving mother. "I am not sneaking, Andrew. I walk for exercise every day during my lunch."

He smiled bashfully. "I didn't know that."

"Why would you?" she asked, returning his smile. "Are you sure you are okay?"

His smile faded and his eyes looked far away. "Not really," he said, sighing. After a pause, he asked, "Have you ever thought something really good was about to come into your life and then you were just really disappointed?"

"Of course. Part of being human is living through disappointments." Her eyes softened, again looking like a mother. She sat down next to him. "Have I ever told you how I met my husband Jae?"

He shook his head, surprised at her intimacy. She continued, saying, "I was at University. He was in my English class. One day, after a group study session, he asked if he could take me to dinner."

DeLuca smiled. "What did you say?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I said no. I was already engaged to a boy that grew up in my neighborhood. My whole family and his expected me to marry him."

"But you didn't?" he asked, his brows furrowed. He wasn't sure where this story was going or why she told it to him.

Shaking her head, she said, "No. Jae stood outside of my dormitory building every morning for three weeks so he could walk me to class."

DeLuca cocked his head back and chuckled. "Jae was smooth."

"Yes." She laughed softly. "After three weeks, he asked me out again."

He pointed at her and grinned. "And you said yes!"

She furrowed her brow and slapped him on the knee. "No! I reminded him I was already engaged."

He turned his head and gave her a quizzical look. "So what did Jae do?"

She looked into his dark brown eyes to make sure he was listening. "Jae took my hands and told me, 'You can't be engaged to anyone else when you know you are going to marry me.'"

DeLuca put his hand to his heart. Even he was ready to marry Jae. "Bohkee, you didn't reject him again after that did you?"

She smiled again. "No. We started dating one week later and we were married two weeks after I graduated."

"That is a beautiful story," he said, his voice soft but his eyes clouded with confusion. "But why did you tell it to me?"

She put her hand on his. "Life will disappoint you. People will disappoint you even more. But if you know what you want," she said, her words trailing off so that she could pause for effect. Then she locked eyes with him and said pointedly, "Or _who_ you want, then it's up to you to fight for it. Because the worst kind of pain is when you disappoint yourself."

Her words opened his mind like an explosion. For the first time in days, he had clarity. Her motherly advice made his heart ache for his own mother but he was still really grateful to hear it.

Putting his hand over hers, he said, "Thank you, Bohkee."

She leaned towards him and said quietly, "Go do something about it, Andrew."

Energized, he stood up, patted her on the shoulder and ran up the stairs. He wanted Meredith Grey. He wasn't ready to give up on her yet.

….

A few days later, Meredith and DeLuca were in the OR, performing surgery on Natasha. He caught himself staring at her every few minutes, to which she would glare back.

A little while into the surgery, Jo and Meredith were asking Schmidt about his newfound confidence. Suddenly, he burst into exposition. "I met someone. And he's hot. And he's confident. And he likes me. And I'm gay. And he's gay. And we're gay together. And it's the most me I've ever felt in my whole life."

They all looked up at him in astonishment for his outburst. DeLuca was jealous though. He knew exactly what Schmidt meant. It was exactly how Meredith made him feel. But unlike Schmidt, he couldn't declare to everyone how he felt.

So it really bugged him when Meredith said, "Well, I'm happy for you, Schmidt."

"Thank you," Schmidt replied with surprise.

Maybe DeLuca couldn't declare his feelings but he could definitely let _her _know how he felt. He said, "Yeah, I think it's beautiful. After all, what's life for if not to share it with somebody, right?" He raised his eyebrows and looked right at her with warm but challenging eyes.

She returned the challenge. "Does that mean life is not worth living alone?"

He kept looking at her as he said softly but with determination, "I think if you meet someone who lights you up, you should fight for them."

Her eyes turned glassy and she turned away from him. "Suction," she directed Jo.

After the surgery, they were alone in the Scrub Room cleaning up when she pulled of her scrub cap and gripped it hard. "What the hell was that?" she said angrily.

He turned to her, his brow furrowed. "Meredith, what are you talking about?" he asked softly.

Pointing at him, she said, "In this hospital—in my OR—I am Dr. Grey. Schmidt might be comfortable announcing to the world his love life, but that's not me."

He shook his head, trying to catch up with her anger. "Love life? You would have to be willing to give and receive love to have a love life."

She rolled her eyes. "I stood you up. Once. That doesn't give you the right to look at me like you did in that OR. Or talk to me like you did." She crossed her arms and took a step back. "I have worked my ass off to be taken seriously as a professional in this hospital and I won't have my coworkers gossiping about the Resident who is flirting with me during surgery."

His frustration flared but he took a breath and actually looked at her. She was practically quivering. Her eyes shone with anger but there were also flecks of something else. Was it doubt? Attraction?

"Is my professionalism really your problem?" he asked. Instead of fighting back, he took a step towards her and his voice became soft. "Or does it bother you that in spite of yourself, I made you feel something in that room?"

Her breathing was unsteady. She glared at him for what felt like forever. Then with a quiet but stern voice she said, "Just don't do it again." Then she turned to walk away.

Before she could leave the room, he said, "Dr. Grey?" She stopped but didn't turn around to look at him. "You're worth fighting for."

She stood still for a long moment and then walked out. He let out a long sigh, cursing in Italian. He ran his fingers through his hair. Then he thought about Bohkee and Jae. If Jae could stand outside his woman's house for three weeks straight, then he could too.

He knew how he felt and he knew it was real.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

So this one took me a little longer to figure out. Hope you enjoy! We are getting _really_ close to the rooftop! As always, thanks for reading, subscribing, and reviewing! You all are amazing!

Chapter 14

Meredith was sitting at her kitchen table with a glass of wine. Her laptop was in front of her and she was waiting on a Skype call from Cristina. As she waited, her eyes kept drifting to her phone.

She knew it was stupid. It had been a week since she had railed on DeLuca in the Scrub Room after Natasha's surgery. She had stood him up, ignored him, yelled at him. She had no reason to expect him to call.

But she wanted to hear his voice. She had spent several months having very passionate dreams about Andrew DeLuca, but after they had stopped talking in the last two months, she had found herself dreaming more and more about his voice—his tender tone, just above a whisper. In her dreams, he would tell her that he missed her, that he needed her. She would wake up yearning.

He had told he that she was worth fighting for, that she lit him up. But she hadn't given him any reason to hope. And as much as she missed him, she wasn't sure she that he should hope. Her life was so full and busy, it was really unfair of her to try to shoehorn the type of relationship he wanted into the very small window of time she had.

At least, it sounded good as she drink her wine.

Finally, her computer rang as Cristina called in. "Where is my person?" Cristina barked cheerily.

Meredith smiled and waved her glass at the computer screen. "Hey! How are you?"

Cristina sighed and shook her head, her unruly curls swaying around her. "It's great living in a country with socialized healthcare and all, but sometimes it's a lot."

Meredith rolled her eyes in feigned exasperation. "Ugh, living in the literal land of chocolate must be terrible!"

Cristina made a face at her and took a sip of her own wine. "You have no idea. These people are just so happy all the time. Sometimes I just need to talk to another dissatisfied American."

"I'm not dissatisfied," Meredith said, laughing.

Cristina cocked her head and asked excitedly, "So what's keeping you so satisfied? Is the Italian really a stallion?"

Meredith rolled her eyes for real this time. "Because we need men to be satisfied?" she asked sarcastically.

Cristina's eyebrow shot up. "That sounds like deflection. What's happened since Thanksgiving?"

Meredith blinked. "Nothing."

Cristina put her face right in front of the camera, overwhelming her friend's computer screen. "Fess up, Mer. What happened?"

Meredith shrugged. "Literally nothing. We never went on a date."

"How is that possible?" Cristina asked, shaking her head. "When I met him two months ago, he looked at you like you were his sun."

She squirmed in her seat. "He didn't understand what I need, what my life is like."

Cristina poured herself another glass of wine. "How so? Like he wasn't ready for your kids?"

"No," Meredith said hesitantly. Then she waved her hand in front of her like it wasn't a big deal. "We were supposed to go out on a date on New Year's Eve." She paused. "I asked him to go with me to Alex's party."

Cristina nodded. "That sounds romantic and awkward. Go on."

Meredith glared at her friend's sense of humor. "But I have a very sick patient who needed me that night, so I couldn't go to the party with him."

Cristina's face relaxed as she thought she started to understand the situation. "So he threw a fit when you told him you couldn't go?"

Meredith paused again. "No, he got mad because I didn't call him to tell him I couldn't go." After a slight breath, she started to speak very quickly. "But I run an entire department. I don't have time to communicate every little thing. He should know that—"

"Wait," Cristina interrupted. "Are you saying you stood him up on the second most romantic holiday of the year without even texting him?"

"It's not that big of a deal," Meredith said.

Cristina furrowed her brows. "Sounds like it was to him. Is he still mad at you?"

Meredith shook her head and murmured, "No, he actually told me about a week ago that I'm worth fighting for."

Now Cristina's brows shot up. "And what do you think? Is he worth fighting for?"

Meredith felt the yearning thread through her stomach and chest as it did every morning. She tossed her hands in the air, saying, "I don't know. But I know that I like having him in my life."

Cristina gave her side eye as she finished her second glass of wine. "Then maybe you should tell him that."

It got quiet for a second as her words hung through the air between them. Then Meredith took a deep breath and smiled. "Tell me about you. Have you met anyone lately?"

"An Alpine skier named Matthias," she said. With a stone face, she said, "He has very strong legs." Then she bent forward as she laughed.

Meredith giggled with her friend. "There's a joke about 'bunny slopes' that I'm not going to make." They laughed even harder. The heavy weight she had been holding onto for weeks finally felt like it was lifting.

Cristina had always had the gift of being what she needed when she needed it.

….

It was about a week later that Meredith and DeLuca ended up in an elevator alone together. He looked at her with a small smile, saying, "Good morning, Dr. Grey."

She eyed him warily. How did he make a simple greeting sound like an entire, emotional conversation? "Dr. DeLuca," she replied curtly. They rode in silence for a few minutes before the tension between them made it hard to breathe. Then she thought about Cristina's words and let out a sigh. "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you."

His eyebrows shot up and his smile got a little wider. "Oh? What about, Dr. Grey?" he asked cheekily.

Her eyes turned to the ceiling as if praying for patience. "Andrew, I'm sorry," she said softly. He stared at her warmly, letting the silence hang awkwardly to encourage her to keep talking. "I should have just called you that night and I should have apologized when I didn't. I teach my children to have better manners than that and I should have too."

His shoulders relaxed and he nodded. "Thank you, Meredith."

He started to lean slightly closer to her and she felt a flutter of panic. "Of course," she said, waving her hand in front of her. "You're my friend. I don't want to ruin our friendship over something so minor."

He let out a heavy breath. His eyes looked pained and his voice broke as he asked, "Is that what you really want?"

She shrugged. "It's all I can offer you right now."

"Okay," he said in almost a whisper. "But I've got one question for you."

She braced herself. "What?"

"You say friendship is all you have time for in your life right now." As the elevator neared his floor, he leaned toward her and asked, "Have you taken the time to ask yourself what you actually want out of your life?"

She threw her hands up in frustration. "I'm happy."

The elevator door dinged and opened. As he walked through the threshold, he turned back and looked her straight at her with his smoldering dark eyes. In Italian, he said, "I didn't ask if you were happy. I asked what you _want._"

The door shut and she was left alone to move to the next floor. She felt gutted. In the quiet of the elevator she cursed Cristina's name.

This was clearly all of Cristina Yang's fault.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

This case was really starting to get to her. In the last week, she had watched Natasha's health deteriorate and Garrett's spirit with her.

The more she watched Garrett hold his fiancé's hand, she started having flashbacks of seeing Derek in that hospital bed.

Three days before Valentine's Day, of all days, she and DeLuca were explaining to him why she had crashed the night before. He started to pace, breaking down, and cried, "Why? Why is this happening to us?"

Wringing her hands, she shook her head. It was unlike Meredith Grey to stammer but she did. "I…I don't have an answer for that." For the first time since Derek died, she could empathize with Penny.

More forcefully, he said, "Why is this happening to us? She was getting better." He pointed at Natasha through the glass door and sniffed back tears. "After all we went through." He started to hyperventilate and Meredith knew he was about to have a panic attack. His eyes got big and he dropped to the floor.

"Garrett," DeLuca called and rushed to his side.

"Garrett," Meredith repeated as she squatted down next to him.

Garrett waved them away, repeatedly saying, "If she dies, I die. If she dies, I die."

DeLuca stepped back, looking helpless as a nurse and Meredith crowded around Garrett. Meredith said, "Okay, listen to me please. Look at me." She waved her finger in front of him to direct his eyes to her, trying to focus him. "Look at me please."

She held him by both arms and said firmly but softly, "You won't die. I know it feels like that right now, but trust me. You won't die." His breathing calmed, but he looked at her bewildered with such pain in his eyes. She continued, saying more forcefully, "You have to fight for her. She's in there fighting for you. You don't get to give up." She took a deep breath as she saw him gulp for air. "So part of that fight— is you're going to go take a walk. You're going to take a shower. And you're going to get a meal."

Her own last hours with her husband flashed in front of her eyes. She saw Zola's face from when she told her that Derek wasn't coming home. Tears reddened her eyes but she kept talking. "We will be here, fighting to keep her alive. _You _are going to go fight to keep yourself alive. Okay?"

"Come on." The two women helped Garrett stand up. As the nurse led him away, DeLuca patted him on the back and rubbed his shoulder.

Meredith watched Garrett walk away as fought to hold back tears. She locked eyes with DeLuca before she rushed down the hall to find the first empty room. She needed to be alone. She needed to break down.

She needed to talk to her husband.

…..

DeLuca's heart broke as he watched Meredith walk away in tears. Everything in him told him to go to her, to hold her, to whisper in her ear that everything would be okay.

But that's not where they were right now. And the look on her face, pained and reddened with emotion, told him not to follow her.

He was also in awe of her. She had such grace under pressure. She had suffered such loss in her life and not only was she able to endure, but it allowed her compassion and strength to comfort others.

As much as he cared about her pain, though, it also kind of pissed him off. She had stood him up, avoided him for weeks, and couldn't give him a straight answer to anything. She told a man to fight for love when she wouldn't even show up for it herself, let alone, fight for it.

He knew what he felt was real. He had seen it in her eyes, felt it in her touch. He was sure she felt something for him. Either way, he had to know. He had spent almost nine months falling in love with her. He had waited four of those months for her to decide how she felt. He couldn't spend any more time waiting. They would either be together or they wouldn't.

He could accept if she told him no. But he wasn't going to walk away until she told him.

…..

Meredith sat in the pew alone in the hospital chapel. It was the one spot where she still came to talk to Derek.

"I miss you so much today," she said in the quiet room. She thought of Natasha and Garrett and then envisioned the last time she saw Derek. Her eyes were still red from fighting back tears in front of Garrett.

He would look at her with those deep blue eyes and wild black hair. His voice would be soft as he said, "You don't need me."

She shook her head. "That's not the same thing." She wanted to put her head on his shoulder and relax. It had been years since she really felt like she could rest. "There's a man in the ICU watching the love of his life die. I had to tell him today that it won't kill him, that he'll survive losing her."

"Sounds like you told him the right thing. So what's wrong?"

"I feel guilty," she said, her heart hurting. "Because losing you didn't kill me."

He would put his hand on hers. His eyes could always look so empathetic. He would say, "Mer, you have lost so much. You know that it's healthy to process and move on."

DeLuca's face drifted into her thoughts. "But I haven't moved on," she said, shaking her head. Her eyelids felt heavy. Her body felt so tired. "In four years, I haven't let anyone get that close to me again."

"Why not?"

"Because the thought of moving on makes me feel like I'm losing you all over again." She felt the threat of tears again.

He would smirk at this point and say, "Look, I know I was the most amazing lover you had and you'll never be able to get over me—"

She laughed. He had always known how to make her laugh. "You ass," she chuckled.

He would smile that thousand-watt smile that always made her heart flutter. Then he would pull her close, tucking her under his chin. "We'll always be the loves of each other's lives. But you have a lot of life left. And we have three kids. They deserve to see their mother happy and in love."

She smiled. "Everyone keeps telling me the same thing."

"Then maybe you should listen." Then after a pause, he would say, "So what's going on with this Italian? You definitely have a type."

"What type is that? Cocky jerks?" One of the things she missed most was being able to tease him and see his reaction. "He says I'm worth fighting for."

He would kiss her on the top of her head and stroke her hair, saying, "Well, I would definitely agree with him on that."

She let out a sigh. She was starting to feel like herself again. "I love you."

"I know."

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

First things first, as always, you all are so lovely. Thanks so much for the support! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 16

DeLuca spent the next three days with Meredith's words rambling around his head. _You have to fight for her. She's in there fighting for you. You don't get to give up.__  
_  
He had been so impressed by her strength and grace at the time, but the more he thought about it, the more frustrated he was. She got on her knees and pleaded with a man she barely knew to fight for love when she wouldn't even show up for it.

Meredith hadn't rejected him. She had made it clear she was interested in him multiple times. She just wouldn't do anything about it.

They had flown by Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's without making a decision and now it was Valentines and they were still in limbo. He wasn't going to let another day pass without knowing where he stood.

These thoughts consumed him as he walked through the hallway and saw Meredith standing over a desk. He strode towards her, asking, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

She was stilling leaning over a computer as she airily said, "Yeah." She seemed upbeat and relaxed as she finally turned to look at him.

He was decidedly not upbeat and relaxed. Squaring his shoulders, he pointing at her and asked, "How can you stand there and tell Garrett to fight for love when you're the one running away from it?"

Her eyes shone with fire and she opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. His eyes, fiery as well, stayed locked on hers as his eyebrows rose, daring her to respond with a decent explanation.

She finally said, "I have three kids. And a big job." As if she thought that was a clear explanation, she walked away from him to put a file on the counter. He followed close behind, not giving her space. When she saw him out of the corner of her eye, she sighed and rolled her eyes and barked, "What?" She practically bristled as she faced him.

He smirked at her. "Nothing. Just…You know, I used to think you were so beyond me. But you're not. You're like a kid, playing hide and seek. Hiding behind a million excuses."

She was glaring at him when Link came up behind her and said, "Happy Valentines Day!"

She turned to him and cheerfully asked him if he wanted to go on a date with her. DeLuca knew he should leave but it was like his shoes were glued to the floor. Jealousy and hurt wound around him like a barbed cord as he watched them flirt back and forth, planning their date.

Link walked away and Meredith turned to look at DeLuca triumphantly. He made a childish face, which was the only reaction he could manage, and let her walk away.

He knew why she had asked Link out. She was trying to hurt him. She was trying to push him away. But all she really did was prove his point—she was running. Hiding. If he had to guess—and he was going to spend a lot of time thinking about it—she wouldn't even go on that date with Link.

...

Meredith was in the locker room, changing into a striking white button down shirt and black pants that made her legs look long and lean. She had foolishly picked out this outfit that morning on the off chance that DeLuca asked her out for Valentines.

But he hadn't. Instead, he had called her out soundly. No one had the guts to call her out like that and he had really let her have it. So now, she was going to make him suffer a little bit. She knew she looked attractive in this look and now she was taking extra care with her hair and makeup in order to make DeLuca more miserable when he saw her and would think that she had dressed up for Link.

But in reality, she didn't have any intention of keeping that date. She had only asked him out to get out of her conversation with DeLuca. She would find Link before he left the hospital, apologize, and say something came up with her kids and she wouldn't be able to go.

But first, she had to go help Natasha and Garrett get married. Natasha didn't have much longer to live. The hospital staff got together and planned a beautiful planetarium wedding for them so she could go in peace and love. Because Natasha could no longer speak, Meredith would be reading her vows for her.

Natasha was a brave and beautiful woman who would be declaring love in front of an entire room full of strangers. Meredith stared at herself in her locker mirror as she applied lipstick. She wondered if she would ever be that brave with her heart again.

...

DeLuca's shift had just ended. The longer the day went, the less confident DeLuca had become that Meredith would back out of her date with Link. What if he was wrong? What if they went out and fell head over heels in love? He envisioned them riding off into the sunset together and having big, beautiful blonde babies with big crystal blue eyes and they'd be a perfect big, beautiful blonde family.

The thought curdled his stomach. An intern had come to let him know what time he needed to be at the ICU for the wedding. Despite his own self-doubts and despair, he thought it was beautiful. Two people were declaring their love for each other while they still could.

_While they still could_. This could be his last chance to tell Meredith how he really felt. He needed her to know while he still could. Grabbing his jacket and keys, he ran to his motorcycle. He needed to get to the store and get back before the wedding started.

…

Meredith walked into Natasha's room with an army of hospital staff behind her. They all piled into the room. Jo placed Natasha's wedding dress over her and she looked beautiful as Garrett walked in, her wedding ring in an open ring box in his hand. He said, "Your doctors wanted to make sure we got our wedding under the stars."

She smiled, fighting back tears as Alex motioned to turn the lights off. Everyone raised their phones above them, each having a different video or photo of the galaxy displayed.

Among the glow of the stars, Meredith said, "Garrett asked me to read the vows that you wrote before the accident." Bride and groom looked at each other with a smile as Meredith started, "Garrett, the moment I met you, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with you. Before you, I never met anyone I could be in the same room with longer than a few hours."

Everyone chuckled as Natasha looked at her fiancé lovingly. "I waited my whole life to meet you. I gave up thinking I ever would. But here we are. Better late than never, right?"

Meredith took a gulp of air. Natasha's words were starting to build a wave of emotion in Meredith and she was fighting to control it. "Now that I found you, it all makes sense. Everything that was once hard, feels easy, now that you are in my life. And everything that was once easy, is now sublime."

The wave was too much now and it propelled her to look directly at DeLuca, who was already looking at her. His eyes were consumed with feeling. They looked like a storm of pain and love and desire and she instinctively knew that her eyes matched his, because it was exactly what she was feeling too.

She couldn't deny it any more. She wanted him. She loved how he made her feel. At the end of the day, at this time in her life, Andrew DeLuca was the one that made sense for her. The way he held her, the way he looked at her, the way he made her laugh—it was sublime.

And she couldn't hide from that anymore. She didn't really want to now. Natasha had found love and she had run towards it, fought for it, fostered it. Natasha had inspired her to do the same.

After the vows were complete and Garrett and Natasha were married, Natasha faded and the doctors left the room to allow Garrett to say goodbye to his wife. Meredith laid Natasha's vows next to her and squeezed her hand before she turned to leave.

As she walked out, she saw DeLuca through the glass, waiting for her. He was wearing a dark leather jacket over his scrubs. As she approached him, he uncrossed his arms and took her hand in his, entwining their fingers. He gave her a soft wink and whispered, "Come with me."

Without a word, she followed him to the elevator. She was tired and emotional, so she didn't take the time to overanalyze and worry if anyone had seen them holding hands. As they got into the elevator, she slipped her phone in her pocket and she covered their entwined hands with her newly free hand. "DeLuca, where are we going?" she asked breathily.

He looked down at her through his long lashes and smiled. "You'll see."

They stepped off the elevator and she realized that he was taking her to the hospital rooftop. They stepped through the door and the cold night immediately surrounded her. She brushed up against the back of his arm as she walked behind him. For the first time in weeks, DeLuca looked relaxed. His shoulders were back. He walked with a slow stride. He turned to her and smiled. His entire aura had changed the minute she held his hand.

She saw the ice bucket and bottle of wine. Looking around anxiously, she said, "I'm supposed to be on a date." She knew that was a lie, but it was her last half-hearted attempt to hide.

He finally let go of her hand as he shrugged his jacket off. He smiled at her and tenderly said, "You already are."

She cocked her head and looked at him with exasperation, but with his devilish smile, he ignored her. He stepped in close as he wrapped his coat around her shoulders, both of his arms engulfing her.

As the warm warmth of his jacket enveloped her, she could smell his warm, masculine scent on the leather. The last strand of her hesitation finally snapped. She looked at him with big eyes and smiled.

He had finally caught her. And she finally let him.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Okay, so I know I tortured you all with taking like 5 chapters to get through the New Years episode, but I knew the rooftop was going to require it's own chapter. So here it finally is. Thank you all for your patience and support. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 17

Meredith looked out at the Seattle nightscape, the wind lightly brushing free strands of hair. She watched as DeLuca turned to open a bottle of wine. She caught a perfect glimpse of his strong neck as he was turned. He was truly a beautiful man.

She couldn't help but look up at him through her long lashes and smile at his brashness. He had hijacked her date with a brazen smile. She had to admit that she didn't feel guilty. Instead, it made her want him more. He was so passionate, so sure of what he wanted. He had been nothing but painfully honest with her at the risk of his own embarrassment or rejection. He was so pure and raw and real and it amazed her that it took her this long to see him.

He handed her a glass. "A toast," he said, staring into her deep blue eyes. "To Garrett and Natasha."

A wave of sadness hit her as she thought of the tragic couple. She turned and sighed deeply, then clinked glasses with him. "To Garrett and Natasha," she said sadly. He never took his eyes off her as they each took a drink from their cups.

She looked into her glass and then back up at him. She took a breath and he smiled at her. She walked towards the edge of the roof, gripping her glass and taking in big gulps of air. This was it now. No more running. His words kept ringing in her ears.

_When you finally let me kiss you, and you will let me kiss you, I won't ever stop._

Her heart was fluttering so fast and the city lights in front of her looked like a blur. She took one final sip from her cup and as she set it down, he came up close beside her, softly stroking her hair with his hand.

The air shifted between them. She knew as soon as they would kiss that everything would change. It was time for her to decide. The look he gave her made her knees weak like a school girl and she was certain she knew what Natasha had meant when she told her to kiss the one that turned back time for her. He cupped her cheek with his hand and searched her face with his eyes like he was trying to engrave it into his memory.

Her hair was tucked into the collar of his jacket and his scent overwhelmed her. As though an invisible rope were tied between them, they came closer together until they finally kissed. It was nothing like she had dreamed or imagined or fantasized.

It was so much better. She had known from his interactions with Maggie and Sam that he was wild and passionate. That's how she had always envisioned him, like an untamed mustang. But now, with her, he wasn't like that at all. He exuded passion, in every kiss, touch—the way his body molded next to hers. But it wasn't wild. It was tender.

He held either side of her face with both hands and kissed her slowly, as if taking her all in, as if he wanted her to know she was his only focus in the world right now. When he touched her, she squeezed her eyes shut and reached up and gently held the back of his head, delighting in the rough texture of his curls. Wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands grasped tightly at the soft, silky blouse and she could feel his fingers against her bare back. His jacket fell off her shoulders down to her ankles and she didn't even notice. Her hand slid down his neck to his broad shoulder and she let it rest there. It was so masculine and muscular and had just become her favorite curve of his body.

When she felt the kiss deepening, she pulled away, breathless. She rested her head in the crook of his neck as he stroked her back. "So," she said, her voice muffled by his shoulder. Even without his jacket, she wasn't cold. She felt warm in his arms and against his chest.

"So," he repeated, then pulled her closer.

She smiled nervously. "I finally let you kiss me."

"I noticed that," he said jokingly, as he tugged on a strand of her hair.

She poked him in the side of the ribs and he grunted. "Was it worth kidnapping me for?" she asked teasingly.

He paused, as if thinking seriously. Then he squinted and cocked his head, saying, "Not really." Her head whipped back to look him in the eye. He looked down at her with a serious face. "You know, now that we kissed, I'm not actually feeling it. I think maybe we should just be friends."

She searched his eyes in painful silence until she watched his mouth break into a smile. Laughing, she hit his shoulder. "Shut up!"

He chuckled and wrapped his arms tighter around her until her head was resting against his chest. He kissed the top of her head, then reached down and kissed her shoulder. He nuzzled her neck for a moment before stepping back to look at her. His eyes darkened as he looked at her in that very serious, sweet way that was becoming very familiar to her now.

"A few months ago, I said that once I kissed you, I wouldn't ever stop." He idly played with her hair as his eyes roamed her face, her eyes dreamily looking into his, waiting for him to continue. With an embarrassed smile, he looked at her pointedly and said, "I said it out loud because I didn't think you could understand me." She giggled, her head bending down into a full laugh. It surprised her how often he made her laugh. He grew serious again and his voice was just above a whisper when he said, "But I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm yours as long as you want me."

Her stomach did flip-flops but she tried to remain cool. She grinned cockily and said, "You can be very charming sometimes."

Smiling, he turned his back to the wall and leaned against it. He picked up his jacket and put it back on her, this time having her slip her arms through the sleeves so it would not slip off. Taking her by either side of her hips, he pulled her close in front of him, so her back was resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested hers over his.

He sighed and said, "And you can cut me deeper than anyone I've ever met."

She shifted to the side to look up at him over her shoulder and asked, "What are you talking about?"

He held her tighter, resting his temple against the top of her head. "Can you tell me that you didn't ask out Dr. Lincoln today to hurt me?"

Her body stiffened and he loosened his grip a little. "When I feel backed into a corner, I fight my way out of it." She picked up one of his hands and entwined it in both of hers. "Andrew, I'm sorry that I hurt you. But if you really want this, I can't promise you it's going to be easy."

"Meredith," he said as he watched their fingers idly play with each other. "I'm not a kid. I don't expect this to be easy. But this isn't a game of going back and forth any more." He turned her so she would be facing him again. He locked eyes with her and held her by her shoulders, saying, "I want you. More than I've ever wanted anyone. But if we're going to do this, we need to try to have some consideration for each other."

She knew he was right and he was impressed with how mature he was, but it wasn't in her nature to effusively apologize. Instead, she leaned past him and took her glass of wine. She smiled at him playfully, her blue eyes twinkling as she said, "You just said you wanted me more than anyone." Then she took a long drink from her cup.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "God knows why," he teased.

She gave him an exasperated look. "You're not nearly as funny as you think you are."

He nodded and pretended to take her seriously. "It's a good thing I'm pretty then."

She tipped her glass at him as if toasting him. "Tell me about it. That's the only reason I'm here."

His eyebrows shot up and she laughed. He reached for her as if to tickle her and she batted him away with her hands playfully. Andrew caught her hands and pulled her against him. His hands laid flat against her back as his head bent down to kiss her. She rested her hands on his taut stomach and she found herself wishing to know what that stomach looked like bare.

He dusted her cheek and jawline with kisses until he found her neck. She instinctively bucked against him, brushing her hips against his, making him groan just below her ear. She caught herself drifting into oblivion when she pulled herself back. "Andrew, Andrew."

"Hmm?" He ran his hands down her ribcage until they rested at her hips. He nuzzled his face in her hair.

"Andrew," she repeated breathily. "Before we go any farther, I need to talk to Maggie."

He let out a long breath and dropped his forehead to her shoulder. "Seriously, I know she'll be okay with it."

She took his head in her hands and lifted him up to look at her. She cradled his face as she said, "I've made this mistake with her before and it was painful. She's my sister. I just need to be honest with her first. I owe her that respect."

He nodded, then reached up to take her hand in his. "Can I at least take you home?"

She shook her head, saying, "I have my car here." Then she squeezed his hand. "But you can walk me to my car."

He smiled and gave her a quick kiss. The hospital was quiet and empty, so they held hands while they took the elevator. She rested her head on his shoulder until they stepped into the hallway. When they got to her car, he opened the door for her. She stood between it and smiled at him. "I had a nice time tonight."

He laughed softly. "Oh, calm down. You're getting way too excited."

She cocked her eyebrow. "It's been a very long time since I could say I had a nice time."

He reached out and pulled on a strand of her hair. "Let me take you out on a real date tomorrow."

Shaking her head, she said, "As soon as I talk to Maggie, then we can make plans."

His eyes looked serious and sad. "Please tell me this isn't another way to push me away."

"Andrew." She grabbed his hand. "I wouldn't be here right now if it were."

He nodded and watched her get into her car. He grabbed onto the doorframe and leaned towards her. "Happy Valentine's Day, Meredith."

She brushed her hand against his arms and squeezed his wrist. "Happy Valentine's Day, Andrew."

He smiled and shut her car door. Stepping back, he watched her turn on the ignition and pull out. He waved at her as she left.

She watched him waving through her rearview mirror and let out a long sigh. She would have a lot of cleaning up to do this week, from apologizing to Link to checking in with Maggie.

But right now? Well, all of that didn't really matter. Right now, she couldn't help but smile like a fool all the way home.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

We finally made it to and through the rooftop scene! Thank you so much for all the positive feedback. You are all so GREAT! This is going to be a super short chapter to fit between the Valentine's episode and the Maggie episode, but I didn't want to keep you waiting as I write more!

Chapter 18

She woke up slowly. Sunlight poured over her through the window, keeping her warm under the blankets.

She could still smell him. His warm, spicy cologne had clung to her skin all night and was still there the next morning. Her lips still felt the tingle of his course beard.

She woke up smiling. After all these months, it had finally happened. They had kissed. She had been with two other men since Derek died. Both experiences had been nice but this was different. It didn't just feel great—and it did—his touch had been fueled by emotions and it had made the experience so much better.

She was still lying there when her phone buzzed. Picking it up, she saw it was a text from "DeLuca." He was still "DeLuca" in her contacts.

_Good morning_, it said simply.

Her eyes glinted at the attention. But she did enjoy torturing and teasing him, so she replied: _Is it?_

She rested her head back on the pillow, waiting for him to answer. She fantasized that he was lying on top of her, his arm braced over her, reacting to her flirtations.

She finally received his response: _It's a great morning. _She smiled. Then a second text from him: _Last night was worth the wait. _

She grinned widely. She couldn't torture him any more. _I'm really glad it happened._

It didn't take long for the three little dots to become words. _Great! Let me take you to a real dinner next time…I'd like to prove to you that I own more than a pair of scrubs._

Chuckling, she envisioned him in a dark blue shirt that was just a smidge too tight, one that showed off those shoulders and neck she loved so much. _Sounds amazing…but you know I have to talk to my sister first._

The three dots floated on her phone longer this time. He finally replied. _It took us so long to get here. It's hard to wait now that I know what it's like to hold you._

Heat flashed from her toes to her fingertips. She had never considered herself very romantic and it wasn't a trait that she really looked for in a partner, but dammit if he wasn't one of the most romantic men she had ever met. And in this point in her life when she felt her happiest, most settled, she could do with a little fun and charm.

_I know. I'll talk to Maggie today. _

_See you soon. _She stared at his last text for some time. He had held her in his arms. Kissed her. She had whispered his name against his neck. It didn't feel right that he was still listed as "DeLuca" in her contacts. She went into edit mode and changed it to "Andrew."

That was going to be her easiest task on Andrew's behalf today. She was planning to rehearse what she would say to Maggie while she was in the shower. Andrew had repeatedly told her that her sister wouldn't care. And she did know that Maggie had tried to push Amelia towards him, so maybe she would be okay. But there was a pit in her stomach that caused her to worry. Maggie had been so upset about Riggs. Would she feel the same way about Andrew? And what would Meredith do if she said she wasn't okay with it? They hadn't really started dating yet, but she cared a lot about him and it would be painful to let him go. She was afraid she would hurt Maggie if she did date him and that she would hurt Andrew if she didn't.

It was going to be a very long day.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

As always, xx…

Chapter 19

It had been a long day. The morning had started off almost as good as the previous night had ended. Andrew had texted Meredith what a great time he had and she had agreed. He had seen her getting coffee before work in the hospital courtyard, offering to buy it for her until she would actually let him take her on a real date.

But he had to wait until she talked to Maggie. She had yelled at him for staring at her and said it was against the rules. It was so adorable, he wanted to pull her close and kiss her, right there in the X Ray room. Meredith, though, was not in the mood for spontaneous acts of romance. She seemed anxious and nervous to speak to her sister.

He liked her this way. It showed that she wanted to be with him, that she was invested in them being together.

So he waited all day, pretending to focus on his cases, feeling as anxious as Meredith had looked. By the end of his shift, he thought he was going to go home without hearing a result. But as he was changing out of his scrubs, he got a page to meet her in a break room.

He found her sitting at a table. She looked sleek and cool as she stared at her phone. Her hair was styled away from her face and she was in red and white. She looked stunning, as always. "Hey."

Looking up, she replied, "Hey."

He walked further in, saying, "You, uh, paged me?"

Sitting her phone down on the table, she sighed and looked up at him. "Yes," she said, shaking her head. "You are not taking me out tonight."

He sighed and looked down at his watch, trying to figure out if Maggie would still be in the hospital. "Is this…Is this Maggie? Do I need to talk to her now?" She stood up and grabbed her jacket as he looked up at the ceiling and said, "Unbelievable."

Approaching him, she encircled his wrist with her hand and looked him straight in the eye, startling him a little. "I have three kids. And I'm not getting on the back of a motorcycle." He tilted his head in wonder as he tried to grasp what she was telling him. "So I'm driving." She took his hand in hers. He didn't think he would ever get over how perfectly their hands fit together. "So where's this place with a view?"

She smiled softly. Relief flooded over him. "Okay, then," he said. "My treat." Her smile broadened widely and she floated towards him until they were kissing. He reached up and held her cheek as the kiss softened. He pulled back to stare at her for a few moments before leading her out the door. As they got on the elevator, he squeezed her hand and eyed her playfully, saying, "That was a mean trick you did back there."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "I'm a mean woman."

"I know." He nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear, "I like it."

She giggled in that way that tore through his body, saying, "You like mean women, do you?"

Chuckling, he returned her question with a question. "You haven't dated many Italian men, have you?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I backpacked through Europe one summer, stayed in Sardinia for a few days, but I can't say I _dated_ any Italian men." She smiled at him devilishly. "I did learn to appreciate them though."

He squinted at her and smiled. "You are going to keep me on my toes, aren't you?"

Now she squeezed his hand. "It's more fun that way." As they headed towards her car, she asked, "So where are we going?"

"Westward." He opened the car door for her and kissed her as she sat in the driver's seat. He jogged over to the other side and got in. She took his hand after he strapped in his seatbelt. "Have you heard of it?"

She looked at him with surprise. "Yeah, I know where that's at. I've been wanting to go there for ages."

"Why haven't you gone?" he asked, playing with her hand idly as she pulled out of the parking lot.

"I haven't had the time," she said, looking over her shoulder as she moved lanes. Then she looked at him in a way that made him catch his breath. "Or the right person to share it with."

He looked at her with amazement. He didn't think he would ever get tired of discovering new things about her. Resting his head against his seat, he said, "Me either."

"Really?" she asked with a laugh, her eyebrows shooting up. "I recall you being head over heels for Sam until Alex and Jo's wedding." She eyed him suspiciously. "What does that say about your constancy?"

He eyed her warily and sighed. "I know I made a fool of myself that day."

"I didn't say that," she said, chuckling. Putting her hand on his knee, she said, "I had fun with you. You don't show that side of you very often."

"What?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "A hot mess?"

"No," she said, laughing. "Open. You laid on my couch for a week, but even then, you kept to yourself. Suffered in silence." She patted his knee playfully. "Except when you were singing love songs off key."

He laughed, then his smile faded and he looked out the window in deep thought. Quietly, he said, "I was an Italian kid named Andrea who moved to the middle of Wisconsin with a loud, protective mother when I was ten. I learned very quickly that keeping to myself kept me out of trouble."

She nodded. "I hope you feel like you can be open with me."

Looking down at her hand, he traced an imaginary line from her knuckle to her wrist. "I missed Sam and there will always be a space in my heart for Sam. But she wasn't the reason I was a mess. Not really." She drove in silence as she waited for him to continue. "When I got back together with Sam last year, I realized that I was ready to be in a real relationship—commit to someone. Love someone completely. And when she left, it felt like my chance was gone and I would never find it again. Do you know what I mean?"

She grabbed his hand again and looked over at him, saying, "I know exactly what you mean."

Of course she did, he thought, thinking of her husband. His heart ached when he thought of her loss. Lifting her hand, he brushed a kiss against her knuckles. "Then I kissed you. And we fit. And I knew that it wasn't over for me. That I had the chance to find the right person."

Before Meredith could reply, she had pulled up to the restaurant. It was a beautiful glass building that faced Union Lake. She stood in front of the car for a second and took it all in. "This place is great, Andrew."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, giving her his arm. "They have a nice bench with a bonfire in front of the lake. Would you want a glass of wine and sit by the fire until our table is ready?"

She smiled at him, saying, "Sounds great." He ordered them two glasses of wine and led them to a circle of benches where other couples were sitting around this large fire, laughing and talking. The atmosphere was vibrant and lively. He pulled her close to keep her warm and she laid her head on his shoulder. "So why did you apologize to me the next day if you felt all of that at the wedding?"

He stared into the fire as the flames danced around. "You're my boss," he said. "My first reaction was to panic. Once I processed it, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"I know the feeling," she said, running her hand from his elbow to his wrist.

His body jerked from surprise. "What? If you felt the same way, why didn't you say anything?"

It was her turn to stare into the fire. "The very next day, you apologized to me and said it was a mistake. I am your boss and with Maggie and everything, so I thought it was for the best. But subconsciously, my brain wouldn't let me forget you either."

"Subconsciously?" he repeated, his brow furrowed. When he realized what she was saying, his face lit up and he pulled back to look at her. "Are you saying you had dreams about me?"

She looked at him drolly. "Don't get annoying about it."

"Dr. Grey, were they dirty dreams?" he asked with teasing wonderment.

She smiled in spite of herself. "Remember when I said you should be more open? I was wrong."

He laughed and pulled her close again. "I'm grateful for everything that happened this year. It got us right here, tonight, together."

The waiter came with their wine. Meredith held up her glass and said, "To tonight."

"To tonight," Andrew repeated, clinking glasses.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

I'm sorry I went MIA! I've been a little under the weather. Thanks to Taina for inspiring me to finally finish this chapter. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 20

Meredith and Andrew were waiting for dessert. He was sitting in the chair next to her. Sitting across the table was too far away from her. They were holding hands on the tabletop.

He squeezed her hand and asked, "So you won't get on my motorcycle?"

Her blue eyes sparkled as she said, "No, but I like watching you on your motorcycle."

His eyebrows shot up and he cocked his head to the side. "I thought I saw you and your sisters checking me out."

She thanked the waiter as he sat down her chocolate cake. As she picked up her fork, she said, "No, they love talking about men in general."

With his own spoon, he took a scoop from his honey roasted pears. Eyeing her as he prepared to take a bite, he said, "So it was just you checking me out then."

She rolled her eyes. "You know you look like an Italian prince from a Disney movie. I don't need to tell you."

"No, I don't know that," he said somberly. "But now I know you think I'm pretty."

She giggled. "Shut up."

That giggle again. It made him want to take her on the table in front of god and everyone. Still with a sober face, he put his hand over his heart and said, "You know, if you only want me because of how I look, I am feeling very used right now."

She tucked her head down as she laughed, her hair falling across her face. Sliding her hand across his forearm, she said, "Oh, you'll know know when you're being used."

He locked eyes with her and his throat tightened. His eyes glazed over as he said, "Check, please!"

They laughed and continued to eat their desserts. "This was such a great idea, Andrew. Thank you for taking me here."

"Meredith," he started. It was his turn to stroke her arm until he found her wrist and cupped it around his strong hand. "I'm just so grateful we finally got here." His eyes softened as he looked at her and said, "I'm really excited to get to know you."

She got quiet and smiled softly. "Me too."

The waiter brought over the check and Andrew got out his wallet to pay. After they were settled up, he pulled her chair out and helped her put on her jacket. Looking up at him, she smiled and slid her hand down his arm and entwined her fingers with his.

"So tell me something," he said, squeezing her hand.

She paused as she thought about it. "I was the angry pink hair kid in high school."

Surprised, he stopped walking and looked down at her, furrowing his brow. Around a laugh he said, "What?"

She nodded. As they stepped outside, the cold February air hit them. Andrew pulled her closer to him and she hugged her arm around his waist. "I was. My parents never really paid that much attention to me. I have all these sisters now, but at the time, I had no one. So I drank behind the bleachers during gym class and died my hair bright pink."

He grinned at her candidness. "And did they notice?"

She shook her head idly. "My father was too focused with his own family to ever come see me and my mother barely looked up at me long enough to tell me that I looked like a background dancer on a bad music video."

His eyes got wide. He couldn't understand how anyone would ignore this amazing woman. "No wonder you were angry."

"Yeah," she said wistfully. Then in her dark and twisty manner, she chuckled. He followed suit. As they got back to her car, she said, "Now it's your turn."

He threw his head back and looked up at the dark sky as he thought. "Because of my dad, I thought I would never want to be a doctor. I didn't want him to think he was the reason I was doing something."

"Sure, that makes sense," she said as she leaned against the car door to face him.

"But I was driven to help people, so I became an EMT after high school." He was looking past her shoulder as he spoke, his eyes far away as he recalled memories. Then he looked at her with an excitement in his eye. "But I loved it. The adrenaline, the medicine—everything. And the longer I was in that ambulance, I had this unstoppable urge to follow the doctors into the hospital. I wanted to treat the people I had saved. And that's when I knew I wanted to be a surgeon."

"The unstoppable urge," she repeated, as if to say she understood and related to the feeling.

His eyes hazed over then and he leaned in over her, bracing his arm on the window of her car door. "It's the same feeling I get when I look at you."

Her eyebrow arched and her eyes sparked. "Oh, really?"

He nodded and kept leaning until he kissed her. She slipped her arms underneath his jacket and wrapped them around his waist. With his free hand, he cupped the back of her head as he softly explored her lips.

He could have stayed like this for hours until he felt her shivering underneath him. "You're cold," he said. "Let's get you home to your kids."

She smiled at his thoughtfulness and watched as he opened the car door for her. They both got in the car and he took her free hand in his as soon as she turned on the ignition.

He watched her in silence for a long time as she watched the road. He couldn't remember a time that he had been this happy and content. "Tell me something else."

She smiled as she pulled into the hospital parking lot. "I love tequila."

He gave her a puzzled look and laughed softly. "And?"

She cocked her head playfully and leaned towards him. "You'd like me when I drink tequila too."

His throat tightened again. "Dear god," he said under his breath as he kissed her.

She grabbed his by the collar and kissed him with an aggressiveness that she hadn't before. Before he could get his bearings, she pulled away and in a whisper said, "Have a good night, Andrew."

He gave her a quick, soft kiss on the lips and said, "Buona notte, Meredith."

Sliding out of the vehicle, he hopped on his motorcycle and waved at her. He sat on the bike until she pulled safely out of the parking lot.

She hadn't needed to wish him a good night. He knew that tonight, he would close his eyes and dream of her.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

I am so sorry that it has taken me forever to write the next chapter! Thank you so much for all of your support. I hope you're still enjoying it!

Chapter 21

A few days later, Meredith sat at a table as she quietly watched Andrew in line, ordering their breakfast. They had committed to have breakfast once a week together and she already knew it was going to be one of the things she most looked forward to each week.

She also enjoyed watching him. His back was to her as he talked to the cashier, so she could appreciate his wide shoulders and broad neck. She loved the way he carried himself. He moved with grace but was also quite masculine, like a stallion.

Her gaze drifted down to his legs. He clearly worked out. Andrew DeLuca wasn't beefy but it was evident even under a pair of jeans that his legs were lean and muscular. More and more often, she found herself picturing his legs without those jeans. She had seen him in a tank before, so she was sure his chest and torso were taught, but she longed to run her fingers down his abs and find out for herself.

As he finished ordering, he turned around to find her while he waited for their food at the counter. Her heart fluttered at his warm smile. His face really was her favorite feature of his. He smiled with everything in him. His eyes would crinkle and spark with warmth and joy. When he looked at her, she could feel it with her whole body. Only one other person ever made her feel like that.

She had been attracted to men since Derek had died but this was different. It was much more than a physical attraction. They were connected, in ways that she couldn't really explain yet, that she wasn't ready to explain. He was the first person she had felt willing to open up to in years and the thought of being that exposed again terrified her.

But as he sat down with their tray, he slid his down the base of her neck and to her shoulder, massaging it as he quickly kissed the top of her head.

She ignored the second wave of butterflied and smiled as he sat down. With a laugh, she said, "I can't believe you took me to _Biscuit_ _Bitch_!"

He grinned widely and held out his hands, saying incredulously, "What? I'm a kid from Wisconsin. I miss my biscuits and gravy and they have the best in town."

The small storefront was crowded, so he sat close to her, his thigh resting against hers. She smiled as she cut up her biscuit, saying, "I pick breakfast next week. If you keep bringing me to places like this, I'm going to weigh 300 pounds."

He scoffed and gave her side eye. "You're perfect." Then he shrugged. "Besides, Italian men like their women a little healthy."

She chuckled and looked at him like he was crazy. "By healthy, I suppose you mean fat?"

"I don't think there's an answer I can give here that won't get me into trouble," he said around a forkful of eggs.

She giggled. She had noticed recently that her giggle gave him a visceral reaction. His eyes would glaze over, his body tightened. She enjoyed that she had that kind of power over him. "So we should go over some ground rules before work."

Her abrupt change of conversation clearly startled him. He blinked a few times and said, "Rules? What kind of rules?"

"Well," she said, cocking her head and raising her brows, becoming very stately. "We have already established that you can't look at me with those gooey eyes while at work."

"I do not do 'gooey eyes'." He took a drink of his juice. "And I didn't agree to that rule."

She squeezed his shoulder with mock empathy and said, "Oh, your eyes definitely goo. It's one of the things I like most about you." When she watched his face melt, she got serious again. "When we're not at work."

He laughed, taking her free hand in his. "Okay, so what are the other rules?"

"We shouldn't kiss at work either."

It was his turn to look at her like she was crazy. "Doctors are doing a lot more than kissing in the on-call rooms and supply closets."

She nodded, "But I'm not other doctors. Everyone knows about your exploits with Sam and Maggie in the hospital. I don't want to just be the next girl on your list."

"You're not. You know you're not." He squeezed her hand and looked her square in the eyes.

She smiled. "I know. But I want everyone else to know too."

"Okay," he said solemnly. "Anything else?"

"We shouldn't call each other by our given names while on call. I'm Dr. Grey and you're Dr. DeLuca," she said. "I'm you're Attending frequently. It just makes everything easier."

"Anything else?"

She thought about it and said, "Let's just make everything else as we go. Deal?"

He adjusted their hands so that they were in a position to shake. He shook her hand and said, "Deal."

She bent over and laughed, her hair falling around her face. She found herself doing that a lot around him. He took the strand of hair brushing her cheek and pushed it behind her ear. She looked at him and saw those gooey eyes. Butterflies again. Reaching for his wrist, she stroked it with the pad of her thumb. "Good, because I have a surgery tomorrow and I'd like you to assist."

Nodding, he said, "Sure, what is it?"

Her eyes twinkled. "It's a pancreas-sparing total duodenectomy."

"What?" he asked, his mouth gaping open. "That surgery is going to take hours."

She shifted in her seat, hardly able to contain her excitement now. "I know. It should become the longest surgery ever completed at Grey Sloan."

He grinned widely. "Mer, this is amazing. I'm so proud of you." Then his face grew serious and he looked down at the table. "But, Mer, I don't want to assist on surgeries because we're together. That should be a rule too."

Shaking her head, she said, "I don't want you there because we're dating. I want you there because I need a doctor who has the stamina to stand for hours on end. You are resourceful, supportive, and the best resident we have." She looked at him directly and took both of his hands in hers. "The life of my patient always comes first. I want you in that room because of your abilities—nothing else."

He smiled shyly and nodded. "Of course I'll assist, Dr. Grey. Thank you for the opportunity."

She smiled back. "You've earned it, Dr. DeLuca."

…

Over twenty-four hours later, it was just him, her, and Bohkee in the OR. Everyone else had tapped out or passed out. She knew she had made the right decision by asking him to be there.

But she was also relieved it was _him_. He was so supportive. He emanated strength. She didn't need him, but she was glad he was there all the same.

He looked at her in the eyes and said encouragingly, "You are _so _close."

Her entire body was aching at this point. She needed a distraction. Looking at him, she said softly, "Tell me something."

He looked at her and then said, "Okay." She could tell he was smiling, even with his mask on. He cocked his head as he so often did and asked, "What?"

Her eyelids felt so heavy. "Just anything because all I can think about right now is how much my feet and my legs hurt. So, if you tell me something I can think about that instead."

He let out a breath. "Okay," he threw his head back in memory and then went back to work as he said, "Uh, when I was seven years old, I broke a world record."

She looked up in surprise. "For what?" Her voice was delicate, tired, and interested.

"Most time a minor rode a roller coaster in one day." He looked at her with those big brown eyes.

She furrowed her brow. "Really. How many times did you ride it?"

"Twelve."

She looked at him skeptically but said nothing.

He rolled his eyes. "I-I didn't really break a world record, but for several years, I believed that I did—"

She couldn't help it. Once again, she broke down in laughter. He chuckled too. He looked up at her through his brows. She locked eyes with him. For a long moment, they were the only two people in the room. In all the time she had known him—for her—this was the most intimate moment they had shared.

And it had worked. She had forgotten, just for a few minutes, how much pain she was in.

….

Andrew DeLuca had had an amazing last few days. First, Meredith Grey had finally agreed to date him. Then they had actually went on their first official date. And he was given the opportunity to assist her on the longest surgery the hospital had ever performed.

He was so glad he had been able to be there for her. He had never felt closer to her. Watching her in there be a badass superwoman, he felt like he had an even better understanding of the woman that she was.

He was deep in these thoughts when he found her passed out on a gurney. He couldn't help himself; he smiled. He couldn't leave her there. Unlocking the gurney, he wheeled her into a quiet room and covered her with a blanket.

She looked precious and exhausted. He kissed her on the forehead, blessing her for her goodness. He went over to the light switch at the doorway, but turned to watch her sleep first. She was an absolute wonder. Meredith Grey was the most amazing woman he had ever met. Every day, he was astounded that she even wanted to be with him.

He wasn't sure how this was possible, but she found new ways to make him love her even more. He smiled at her softly then shut out the light.

….

The next morning, she woke with a start. It took a few minutes to realize where she was. Her first thought was about getting home to her kids. She needed to get to the locker room to get her phone to call them.

Her second thought was to recall why she was there. As the fog cleared, she remembered that she had broken the hospital record. She was sore and tired, but proud.

When she sat up, she saw something sitting on the cabinet across the room. It was a coffee cup. She got up and went over to pick it up. There was a note written on the cup:

_Is this against the rules, Dr. Wonder Woman?_

Her grin was so wide that her cheeks hurt.

TBC


End file.
